deepundergroundpoetry.com
001
I wonder, am I addicted to this sadness?
Addicted to my pain?
For even in my happiest moments,
I find myself longing for it.
Perhaps it is because it’s all I’ve known
An abusive hand, a neglectful home
Misery everywhere I went,
hurt from all those I’ve known.
Yet, I would never allow it to show
I’ve looked into the mirror,
And forced my smile.
I’d dare not let anyone see
Behind the mask I crafted
so delicately
I am the sunlight in their lives,
or so they tell me.
The kid with a smile so contagious
that they can’t help
But smile back.
How could I possibly let them see,
Make known the mutilated organ
I call a heart
I know one day,
I will shatter under the pressure
Of the secrets I keep.
But I will do so, alone.
Make peace with the boy
I buried so deep beneath
Perhaps I will apologize to him,
for I know they never will.
Beg his forgiveness,
finally offer him the love
he gave to everyone
but himself.
Addicted to my pain?
For even in my happiest moments,
I find myself longing for it.
Perhaps it is because it’s all I’ve known
An abusive hand, a neglectful home
Misery everywhere I went,
hurt from all those I’ve known.
Yet, I would never allow it to show
I’ve looked into the mirror,
And forced my smile.
I’d dare not let anyone see
Behind the mask I crafted
so delicately
I am the sunlight in their lives,
or so they tell me.
The kid with a smile so contagious
that they can’t help
But smile back.
How could I possibly let them see,
Make known the mutilated organ
I call a heart
I know one day,
I will shatter under the pressure
Of the secrets I keep.
But I will do so, alone.
Make peace with the boy
I buried so deep beneath
Perhaps I will apologize to him,
for I know they never will.
Beg his forgiveness,
finally offer him the love
he gave to everyone
but himself.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 1
reading list entries 1
comments 1
reads 530
Commenting Preference:
The author is looking for friendly feedback.