Life in a loop

This is my history so I will best tell my story. For every thing I say in here am not sorry am sorry to say. Life of try and error, hope is the only sanctuary.
Unfortunately I have no particular road map or set of guidelines so I ponder up and about in inventory. Feels like learning on job, moving non stop with no pause, no room for rewinding to correct or undo any step but rather strict foward movement. It's the past experience to reflect on and make the next steps ahead, no time stoppage at any cost.
Growing up isn't mandatory but compulsory taking each day as it comes sometimes is tiring and boring to bear but that's not mine to control all the time.
The world around me makes it seem like being successful is statutory. Those that get frustrated with the endless grind in life have chosen debauchery a path to some extent I wouldn't judge them for choosing.
The hunt for a descent living has pushed me to think that certain necessities of a healthy life like sleep are a luxury.
Feels like I live in a loop, day in day out it's the same damn old song. Work, work, work, hustle, hustle, hustle. Working and living life its self are complementary and above all contemporary to the level that having a break off the endless loop is awry.
I can bare being angry but not hungry coz the later is the main reason for the endless loop.
Pronounced upon us from the old testament by God almighty Proverbs 10:4 - Poor is he who works with a negligent hand, But the hand of the diligent makes rich. I want to be rich so I embrace the loop for all those I seek to emulate have been exemplary.
Amidst the perseverance in anticipation for a better day after is a fact of life being ephemeral and temporary. This fact breaks me down and sucks too much energy than I can generate at the same rate. Living me with a devided mind of why break my back yet everything is vanity but that's a story for another day. I keep my head up to continue with the grind.