deepundergroundpoetry.com
Spilled Milk
they say
"don't cry over spilled milk"
but my eyes are already watery,
and my tears will be streaming.
the sheet is stained
and my cup is empty
i'm crying over spilled milk,
and i can't finish my drink.
'
"don't cry over spilled milk"
but my eyes are already watery,
and my tears will be streaming.
the sheet is stained
and my cup is empty
i'm crying over spilled milk,
and i can't finish my drink.
'
Published 7th Sep 2022
Author's Note
Does it need more rhythm? It sounded good in my head but I'm on the fence.
I'm sure we can relate to the sadness over something small, though.
I'm sure we can relate to the sadness over something small, though.
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likes 5
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comments 10
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
7th Sep 2022 5:09pm
7th Sep 2022 5:11pm
7th Sep 2022 5:47pm
7th Sep 2022 6:02pm
Hoi hoi
It doesn’t need anything, actually. As long as you expect it to behave like a poem.
If you want it to be looked upon as ‘lyrics (to a song???). That’s a whole different ballgame. Not better or anything. But it’s a whole different sport. Like depending on syllables per sentence etc.
As a (free) poem, I quite like it actually.
I really felt like being treated to something good!
So I,love it as it is.
Thank you!
Kind regards, Gus
It doesn’t need anything, actually. As long as you expect it to behave like a poem.
If you want it to be looked upon as ‘lyrics (to a song???). That’s a whole different ballgame. Not better or anything. But it’s a whole different sport. Like depending on syllables per sentence etc.
As a (free) poem, I quite like it actually.
I really felt like being treated to something good!
So I,love it as it is.
Thank you!
Kind regards, Gus
7th Sep 2022 6:23pm
It sounds like it could be song lyrics-- absolutely. It was not my intention at all but I can definitely see it now. Thanks so much for your comment.
7th Sep 2022 10:35pm
7th Sep 2022 10:36pm
It's more about the feelings and substance of those emotions more than the structure and technique of how they've been expressed.
As with any poem the message can either be extremely elaborate or concise in its simplicity.
In the words of George Carlin (R.I.P.),
"The only A's I got.
I got their Attention.
I got their Approval.
Their Admiration.
And Approbation.
And their Applause.
And those are the only A's I wanted.
And I got them."
Then he continued to say to Jon Stewart:
"And it's great to know you a little and you gonna show us a lot."
Jon Stewart Interviews George Carlin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCGGWeD_EJk&t=582s
As with any poem the message can either be extremely elaborate or concise in its simplicity.
In the words of George Carlin (R.I.P.),
"The only A's I got.
I got their Attention.
I got their Approval.
Their Admiration.
And Approbation.
And their Applause.
And those are the only A's I wanted.
And I got them."
Then he continued to say to Jon Stewart:
"And it's great to know you a little and you gonna show us a lot."
Jon Stewart Interviews George Carlin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCGGWeD_EJk&t=582s
8th Sep 2022 1:57am
