Skewed Revels

I crossed the Columbia River...noir
And strode ashore on the midnight coast
Where the sand is lit by a neutron star
And graveyards comfort glow worm and ghost.
All the spirits there were listlessly strewed
And torpid from lackadaisical stories
But if their tales were differently skewed
The night would revel in newfound glories!
The pussycat skulls would happily hiss
And the owls would give more of a hoot
As sable draped widows would once again kiss
Morticians garbed in an Armani suit.
The pupils would dust off the pulpit dust
As pent up prelates made nice with rectors
In order to fund a new fiscal trust
Promoting risqué poems for lectors!
But best of all is the old Jewish Knight
By the name of Sir Cockamamie Schmutz
Who hosts a kegger of kosher delight
That includes bottomless tins of nuts
And since he is Hebrew he makes great beer,
Because that sounds like what "Hebrew" should mean
And he'd praise the Midnight Sonneteer
For reanimating a dead Halloween!