Happy hump Day

It was mid-week, call it Hump Day
Felt so good to be alive
She called me at three to tell me
She was having sex at five

If I was not at home by then
She would start there all alone
She knew just how to please herself
To masturbate, to reach the zone

I rushed to finish all my work
At least the things I could not hide
I hurried out, got in my car
Looking forward to the ride

Not the ride upon the highway
But the ride between her thighs
Just the thought that she was waiting
Made my flaccid penis rise

I ran a couple red lights
And a yellow one or two
I did sixty in a forty
What else was I supposed to do?

Was five 'til five when I arrived
Left the car parked in the drive
Snuck mouse-like in the entry hall
Removed my clothes to take the dive

Took my hard cock in my hand
Which was then as hard as wood
Hoped she was bare and moistened
With lips spread to show her hood

Thought I heard some music playing
But my mind was on my meat
Was I foregoing foreplay
When there was pussy there to eat?

My thoughts were in confusion
As the great room came to view
The guests therein began to sing
A Happy Hump birthday to you!