deepundergroundpoetry.com
THE LORD IN THIS WORLD
THE LORD IN THIS WORLD
You are the hope that can save man
from what occurs in this mad world.
A major power fights against
another country; both are strong.
They fight about a trivial thing
and kill a lot of men in war.
Where are you, conscience? Intervene
and make their rulers save these souls.
They can destroy the world with bombs,
with hunger and with gas and germs.
Is that what Jesus teaches them
to shun remorse by turning cheeks?
Where are we from this sublime Lord
Who asks the leaders to serve all?
He loves the people though they shout
to shed his blood in a cruel form.
BY JOSEPH ZENIEH
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
____________________________________
You are the hope that can save man
from what occurs in this mad world.
A major power fights against
another country; both are strong.
They fight about a trivial thing
and kill a lot of men in war.
Where are you, conscience? Intervene
and make their rulers save these souls.
They can destroy the world with bombs,
with hunger and with gas and germs.
Is that what Jesus teaches them
to shun remorse by turning cheeks?
Where are we from this sublime Lord
Who asks the leaders to serve all?
He loves the people though they shout
to shed his blood in a cruel form.
BY JOSEPH ZENIEH
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
____________________________________
Published 2nd Aug 2022
| Edited 3rd Aug 2022
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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The author encourages honest critique.
"You are the hope that can serve man
from what occurs in this mad world."
Did you mean "save man"?
"They fight about a trevial thing"
There is no such word as "trevial" Did you mean "trivial"?
And what is going on in Ukraine is hardly over trivial things.
"Is that what Jesus teaches them
to shun remorse by turning cheeks?"
Where in the Gospels does Jesus teach that turning a cheek if one is struck a blow on it is tantamount to shunning remorse?
Sorry, but this is another biblically uninformed, poorly written, all tell no show piece that displays no refined art and certainly is not a Bardic tune, let alone one that has power to make people live in it.
.
from what occurs in this mad world."
Did you mean "save man"?
"They fight about a trevial thing"
There is no such word as "trevial" Did you mean "trivial"?
And what is going on in Ukraine is hardly over trivial things.
"Is that what Jesus teaches them
to shun remorse by turning cheeks?"
Where in the Gospels does Jesus teach that turning a cheek if one is struck a blow on it is tantamount to shunning remorse?
Sorry, but this is another biblically uninformed, poorly written, all tell no show piece that displays no refined art and certainly is not a Bardic tune, let alone one that has power to make people live in it.
.
3rd Aug 2022 10:55am
How is consciously misrepresenting what Jesus taught about turning the cheek an "oversight"?
And isn't the fact that you've edited your piece to correct the verbal mistakes you made in your initial posting of this piece an admission that your command of English is not as great as you often brag it is?
And isn't the fact that you've edited your piece to correct the verbal mistakes you made in your initial posting of this piece an admission that your command of English is not as great as you often brag it is?
3rd Aug 2022 1:19pm
What do you mean by your first two lines? Are they comprehensible English?
Yes, they are, though I would not expect you to recognize them as such given the way you butcher the English language.
You misrepresented what the Gospels say Jesus' purpose was in teaching that one should turn one's cheek when attacked. To do so is not to make an inadvertent error.
And isn't the fact that you've edited your piece to correct the verbal mistakes you made in your initial posting of this piece to what I said they should read an admission that your command of English is not as great as you often brag it is, and that I know English better than you do?
You misrepresented what the Gospels say Jesus' purpose was in teaching that one should turn one's cheek when attacked. To do so is not to make an inadvertent error.
And isn't the fact that you've edited your piece to correct the verbal mistakes you made in your initial posting of this piece to what I said they should read an admission that your command of English is not as great as you often brag it is, and that I know English better than you do?
3rd Aug 2022 2:08pm
When you ask
"Where are we from this sublime Lord
Who asks the leaders to serve all?"
it seems as though you are inquiring about "our" location and whether or not it is near where Jesus is located. Did you mean to say
"Are we far from following the teachings of this sublime Lord"? If so, you haven't said so..
"Where are we from this sublime Lord
Who asks the leaders to serve all?"
it seems as though you are inquiring about "our" location and whether or not it is near where Jesus is located. Did you mean to say
"Are we far from following the teachings of this sublime Lord"? If so, you haven't said so..
I wonder if I’ll ever write about my piety
and how I feel the Nazarene’s sweet love
envelops me
in such a way
that makes a reader say
what’s rightly not been said
by anyone,
that is,
“Oh look at all the grace
with which his words
about his Lord are laced,
and how he makes us feel
with all, and through,
his use of stirring imagery
the depths of Christ’s devotion
to us men
and all his suffering and pain”.
The answer, if I’m honest with myself,.
is “no”
and that’s because I am convinced,
despite the notes
from folks on DUP
to say my wording’s
absent elegance,
my verse is garbled, never crafted well,
my tell not show
my never using metaphor or simile
my dull vocabulary
and my penchant
for dispensing grammar and good sense
as long as I produce a rhyme
approach to poetry
is always in my eyes
the way to go.
For me, it’s what’s required
for writing what
I “know”
to be the best by far
and only way
to manifest the glories of the bardic art
even though objectively
in writing in this manner I display
I haven’t the ability to see
how much of a composed disgrace
how poorly cast
and how they be
a reader’s good time’s waste
my writings are.
and how I feel the Nazarene’s sweet love
envelops me
in such a way
that makes a reader say
what’s rightly not been said
by anyone,
that is,
“Oh look at all the grace
with which his words
about his Lord are laced,
and how he makes us feel
with all, and through,
his use of stirring imagery
the depths of Christ’s devotion
to us men
and all his suffering and pain”.
The answer, if I’m honest with myself,.
is “no”
and that’s because I am convinced,
despite the notes
from folks on DUP
to say my wording’s
absent elegance,
my verse is garbled, never crafted well,
my tell not show
my never using metaphor or simile
my dull vocabulary
and my penchant
for dispensing grammar and good sense
as long as I produce a rhyme
approach to poetry
is always in my eyes
the way to go.
For me, it’s what’s required
for writing what
I “know”
to be the best by far
and only way
to manifest the glories of the bardic art
even though objectively
in writing in this manner I display
I haven’t the ability to see
how much of a composed disgrace
how poorly cast
and how they be
a reader’s good time’s waste
my writings are.
