deepundergroundpoetry.com
FAITHFUL OR CRAZY?
FAITHFUL OR CRAZY?
How strange he is; he sticks to what
he uses in his daily life.
He deems his car's a part of him,
and what ails it hits him a clout.
He is attached to what he has,
and sees in them a soul and heart.
He thinks what he has weep and beg
not to sell them to other hands.
He is so fond of what he owns.
They're not mere objects he has bought.
They have their feelings and ther words.
They speak to him with tears and sobs.
He is quite faithful and he cares
to see them in their perfect form.
They cry profusely when they part.
and his eyes share with secret beads.
BY JOSEPH ZENIEH
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
____________________________________
How strange he is; he sticks to what
he uses in his daily life.
He deems his car's a part of him,
and what ails it hits him a clout.
He is attached to what he has,
and sees in them a soul and heart.
He thinks what he has weep and beg
not to sell them to other hands.
He is so fond of what he owns.
They're not mere objects he has bought.
They have their feelings and ther words.
They speak to him with tears and sobs.
He is quite faithful and he cares
to see them in their perfect form.
They cry profusely when they part.
and his eyes share with secret beads.
BY JOSEPH ZENIEH
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
____________________________________
Published 27th Jul 2022
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
27th Jul 2022 10:37pm
28th Jul 2022 10:29am
Very dear Robert,
Thank you very much for answering my question. I'll be very grateful to you if you tell me why. You will help me psychologically a lot.
Thank you very much for answering my question. I'll be very grateful to you if you tell me why. You will help me psychologically a lot.
28th Jul 2022 3:03pm
The reaction to this "all tell no show" piece is "So what?" You've given no grounds for a reader to care about what this person feels about his possessions or to be interested in him.
28th Jul 2022 3:15pm
Nothing is perfect, Baldwin. I can't write about anything related to the subject.
28th Jul 2022 3:30pm
"Nothing is perfect, Baldwin. I can't write about anything related to the subject."
Except you DID write about the subject.
But unless you are admitting that you wrote about something that has no other effect than to elicit a "so what?" from readers, how does your statement speak to my claim that you've not given readers any grounds for caring about the individual you speak of or finding what you say about him (in what are essentially pedestrian declarative sentences) of interest to them?
Except you DID write about the subject.
But unless you are admitting that you wrote about something that has no other effect than to elicit a "so what?" from readers, how does your statement speak to my claim that you've not given readers any grounds for caring about the individual you speak of or finding what you say about him (in what are essentially pedestrian declarative sentences) of interest to them?
28th Jul 2022 3:38pm
I am trying to find where Lozzamus is, but no result. Have you got an idea about him. I like him very much. He is a dear friend.
The idea I have about Lozzamus is that he is unable to recognize bad poetry when it stares him in the face, let alone articulate why he thinks a submission is good when he inexplicably thinks it is.
But if you meant to ask me if I know where he may be located, I haven't a clue. Why you think I would know is beyond me. And why you are asking this of me here rather than in a private message is also beyond me.
But if you meant to ask me if I know where he may be located, I haven't a clue. Why you think I would know is beyond me. And why you are asking this of me here rather than in a private message is also beyond me.
28th Jul 2022 7:30pm
Very dear Baldwin,
I don't criticize your poetry because l want to be kind to you.
I don't criticize your poetry because l want to be kind to you.
I have never asked you to be kind to me. I have asked you to do what responsible adults, not to mention professed friends, do when they are asked to give honest criticism of a submission and to back up their claims with actual evidence.
