Anxiety Hurts

Sometimes I find it hard to breath...

New surrounding and different routines makes my hair stand on alert
Unfamiliar places and faces send my mind racing to flee
Bringing light to the green monster named Anxiety upon my shoulder
Causing me to appear nervous and giving me the jitters

Sometimes I find it hard to speak...

People I know and trust but will I say something wrong
Do they find me annoying or think i'm stupid
Anxiety causing me to stutter and grow quiet
Avoiding conversations so I don't make a fool of myself

Sometimes I find it hard to sleep...

What will happen thirty years from now
How will I live with out my husband by my side
Anxious about the future struggles I will have to endure
Unavoidable situations roleplaying within my head keeping me awake

Sometimes I hate who I am...

Why can't I just be normal already, I act so pathetic
Why can't I just allow myself to relax, I am constantly on edge
Why must I let my anxiety control my life
Staring in the mirror after showering seeing the stress marks upon my face

Sometimes I just want to cry...

Tears streaming down my face as I cry behind the bedroom door
Black mascara streams enlightening another battle lost
Another anxiety attack bringing me to my knees in shame
Sobbing as I accept that I lost an unwinnable battle again

Sometimes I just want to...be normal

I don't want Anxiety to control me anymore
I don't want to cry anymore
I don't want to have anymore attacks
No more stress marks upon my face

Anxiety controls me...
I'm a puppet on Anxiety's strings
Anxiety Hurts
It hurts to be this way

Anxiety Hurts my relationships
Hurts my self-esteem
Hurts my mind
Anxiety hurts so much more than they realize
 
I want to be normal again...

I want to be the girl I was before anxiety consumed me
I wish my anxiety didn't hurt so much
I wish I liked who I see in the mirror
Anxiety hurts...