deepundergroundpoetry.com

Prize In Disguise

You don't even think about it until you have to
Usually
One day everything was just about fine
At least it was on it's way to getting there
And then it wasn't
Sometimes, when you work really hard
To get to that place you've always wanted
You expect speed bumps
And then you hit a road block
You are equipped to handle road blocks
You just thought you were done with them
I didn't expect what I got that day
I spent a lot of time thinking about it on the way home
And that night, and the next day
I think about it now
But differently
I think about a lot of things now
Differently
I admire beauty of all kinds
You would be amazed at what you could find as beautiful
When you think differently
I listen intently to people of all kinds, which I always did
Just now more intently
I pause
Rather, I'm learning to pause
Which is different for me
I laugh
And I have a reason to
Because I have found a reason to
Which is different for me
I take care of my body as best as I can
Which is new to me
Because it's been a long time
Since I have wanted to
Since I have had to
You would be amazed at what you can do
When you want to
Because you want to
I thought that night I hit a roadblock
Because I was on my way to making a better life for myself
I came out of the fog I had been in for so long
Out of the misery, self-loathing, self-doubt, self-condemnation, self-pity
And asking "why me" all of the time
Now I see a new world
I see beauty and hear beauty
I have the desire to pause
And take in all the world has to offer
I treat myself as the whole being that I am
Who would have thought
That cancer is the prize in disguise





Her
Written by Her
Published
Author's Note
I wrote this last October right before I had surgery for a rare, aggressive form of cancer. Lately I've been thinking about transformations, and I pulled this out to remind myself that there are...
I wrote this last October right before I had surgery for a rare, aggressive form of cancer. Lately I've been thinking about transformations, and I pulled this out to remind myself that there are positives to even the bleakest situations.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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