I Couldn’t Breath

 
He threw me through the air
across the room into a wall
to prevent me from leaving,
But, he never hit me…  
     
He ripped my purse and keys    
out of my hands to hinder me    
from fleeing his hostility,    
But, he never hit me…    
     
He snatched or broke the phone    
whenever I tried to call
the cops when he was screaming,    
But, he never hit me…    
     
He read my private journal    
to use as psychological    
ammunition against me,    
But, he never hit me…    
     
He beat the furniture I was on    
inches from me while I was
crying and pleading for him to stop,  
But, he never hit me…    
     
He put me in martial-arts holds    
and broke one of my toes    
in order to ‘subdue’ me,    
But, he never hit me…    
     
He forced me to go into debt    
to buy him drugs and guitars    
because he couldn’t hold a job,    
But, he never hit me…    
     
He convinced me we needed
to move across the country    
isolating me from my family,    
But, he never hit me…    
     
He slammed open doors    
hounding me around the house    
and never allowed privacy,    
But, he never hit me…    
     
He pounced on me and    
grabbed me by the flesh    
of my neck and shook me,    
But, he never hit me…    
     
He told me I deserved to be    
beaten with a metal chair    
for simply stating my boundaries,    
But, he never hit me…    
     
He raised his hand    
to threaten getting slapped    
and told me to shut up or else,    
But, he never hit me…    
     
He called me a bitch    
a cunt a stupid whore    
fake crazy and disrespectful,    
But, he never hit me…    
     
He punched holes in the walls    
and threw and broke things    
whenever he was angry,    
But, he never hit me…    
     
He apologized and promised    
he would change his ways    
then he would blame it all on me,    
But, he never hit me…    
     
He had everyone convinced    
that he was a saint an angel    
with his puppy dog eyes,    
And he did not ever hit me…    
     
And so he made me feel    
like ending my own life    
was the only way out of his nightmare,    
But, at least he never hit me…    
     
     
——  
     
     
He trapped me and broke my spirit  
He trained me and like a pet, I obeyed  
But in the end I escaped with help  
From poets in the Deep Underground  
 
 
🙏