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deepundergroundpoetry.com
No if's but when's
When I wake up
to bone rattling snores
vibrating loud and long;
a first sleepy thought—
laying beautifully desperate
glowing in midnight crescent moonlight,
songs of muffled curses
singing out of a pillow's cloth confines
harsh spats reverberating
as blue eyes flash proud
pushing hard
biting through
how you try in earnest to make me scream
your name
When several times a night
rolls carelessly into
habit or aged circumstance,
rattling sad weary bones;
looking past or through
thick undercurrents—
deep pools lapping shores
of never waning stricken hot need,
dreamlike memories
blurring rhythmic hips
searching..... stabbing in full hard rise
tempting, tormenting
grazing against moist
wispy air
electrifying instant slickness,
evoking choked back pleas for nirvana
When absent-minded
goodnight kisses
pitifully exchanged like brushing teeth,
are just as arousing
while inside,
every single cell aches
of plundering heat
where lips once mined gold
When casual cuddles
wrapped in separated nests,
watching whatever masks the dark doldrums
until sleep comes,
is filler
staving off
a stifled growl of nostalgic waxing
around times when
wickedness
constantly bubbled under the surface,
causing unsated need
to build a heady debaucheristic
blueprint of inspired gluttony;
rallying a time,
where being stripped naked,
gruff, mean and rudely
met riotous squeals
my growling approval rising to meet your
loving acceptance
of what I desperately require—
thrown to the floor,
ripped open and hungrily ready
to deliciously drowning in strength,
force and direly in need of your reckoning.
tongue traced, teased
crucified ....to the brink of hate/perfection
fighting back my body's urges,
betrayed completely
with every whimpered beg.
When fucked
eye. to. eye.
escaping sad mundane realms
only knowing the feel of you
the slow stretching pain laced ecstasy
pushing deep, deeper
deeply sealing a perfect fit,
my cunt greedily acquiescing
milking every minute aspect
and ... almost cuming
to
your sounds
your smells
your own rapture
When reminded, only you can reach
that very sacred place inside me.
Our fuck groove—
the smallest incremental move,
amount of pressure,
or swirl of my pelvis
and we're rocketed into our sex stratosphere
reaching outer space with zero boundaries
writhing in viscous starlight
melding into something else...
one being of raw exposed nerves
covered in naked unspoken emotion
feeling only. each. other.
driving seeds of pleasure
riding
directing
burning retinas, hearts-
all sense
until slumped in a rumpled pile
heaving breathlessness
aching amidst the secrets of the universe
-All while one of the late night "Jimmy's"
unknowingly looked on-
When clawing at those memories
like they're life, itself.
Becauset they were
they are- always will be.
and when
yearned for moments
that I still feel scratching away
under my skin-
miniscule realizations
of real life intrusions
sadly sowed
into status quo substitutions
It's then
and there—
blind to apathy's infestation
as it stealthily corrupts
when
we both
unknowingly
let
it
all
dissolve
to
nothing.
Author's Note
Not until much later is there a deep sad realization of just how much it means to continue to work your hardest on something that's supposed to be wholly and mutually cherished..... one of my most difficult life lessons, yet.
(a work in writing progress)
©Blu2022
(a work in writing progress)
©Blu2022
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 31
reading list entries 10
comments 41
reads 773
Commenting Preference:
The author is looking for friendly feedback.
Re. No if's but when's
4th Jul 2022 8:00pm
Sadly we all drop the ball. Complacency sneaks in with the passage of time. We go through the motions half-hearted until it gone.
Great write gorgeous sad but so true
Love and light
Ron x
Great write gorgeous sad but so true
Love and light
Ron x
1

Re: Re. No if's but when's
4th Jul 2022 8:28pm
You definitely speak wise, sage words, dear Ron. If you don't water and feed something that lives and breathes, it inevitably withers and dies.
Your understanding and kind comments mean the world. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and for sending out your warm light.
Much love from across the pond ✨
🌹 - 💙
B
Your understanding and kind comments mean the world. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and for sending out your warm light.
Much love from across the pond ✨
🌹 - 💙
B
Re. No if's but when's
4th Jul 2022 9:13pm
aching amidst the secrets of the universe....
I often have the experience with others that when the emotional going gets tough, they head for small talk, logistics, factual things...
"My best friend fell from a 20 story building, and when he hit the concrete below, his blood made the shape of a bunny."
And, it is not over until it is over for us, however it is that others want to pull away, get uncomfortable, break down, or shut down.
The problems persist even when the symptoms seem to disappear.
It's not over until the work is done. And sometimes all we can do is sit in the fire of that pathway and allow that others are working at their own pace.
I often have the experience with others that when the emotional going gets tough, they head for small talk, logistics, factual things...
"My best friend fell from a 20 story building, and when he hit the concrete below, his blood made the shape of a bunny."
And, it is not over until it is over for us, however it is that others want to pull away, get uncomfortable, break down, or shut down.
The problems persist even when the symptoms seem to disappear.
It's not over until the work is done. And sometimes all we can do is sit in the fire of that pathway and allow that others are working at their own pace.
1

Re: Re. No if's but when's
Thanks, RT.
Yes, you're so right.. the work needs to continue, which makes sense, considering we're hopefully continuing to grow and change, even when sitting amongst those fire filled pathways trying to wait patiently.... ;)
This piece was just a salute to my fuckups and reminder that there is someone out there that gets it and will eventually get me in the way I need and desire most.
Thank you for braving a comment here, I know this probably wasn't the easiest piece to leave thoughts in regards to and I deeply appreciate reading your invaluable experiences and feedback.
It means so much to me.
🌹 - B
Yes, you're so right.. the work needs to continue, which makes sense, considering we're hopefully continuing to grow and change, even when sitting amongst those fire filled pathways trying to wait patiently.... ;)
This piece was just a salute to my fuckups and reminder that there is someone out there that gets it and will eventually get me in the way I need and desire most.
Thank you for braving a comment here, I know this probably wasn't the easiest piece to leave thoughts in regards to and I deeply appreciate reading your invaluable experiences and feedback.
It means so much to me.
🌹 - B
Re. No if's but when's
5th Jul 2022 00:08am
Heartbreak does hurt, but with time it heals. When the time is right you will find love again. But I 'm here if you need someone to talk to. Keep on writing you strong beautiful smart sexy woman.
1

Re: Re. No if's but when's
5th Jul 2022 6:31am
You're a kind human being and lovely soul, Francisco.
I appreciate you and all your valiant faithfulness.
🌹 - B
I appreciate you and all your valiant faithfulness.
🌹 - B
Re. No if's but when's
5th Jul 2022 00:18am
No ifs, but when,
Velvet this looks upon appearance on phone screen like a drawn out read. But, Blue this isn't at all. From my understanding, the writer wants the person they are talking to understanding a realization. This we got started can easily become unwanted by one of us, and when. This is the way our life have stretched. So when will there be a collapse within this. This the greatness we've reached. So why not go farther with these attempts we have wrote down. It doesn't turn into a luvaz fuss. Only a for u, I'll put this aside and let's do something else. If this not the similarity I'm seeing within the piece, please tell me the author. It's okay. Understanding between author and reader is needed for me.
Velvet this looks upon appearance on phone screen like a drawn out read. But, Blue this isn't at all. From my understanding, the writer wants the person they are talking to understanding a realization. This we got started can easily become unwanted by one of us, and when. This is the way our life have stretched. So when will there be a collapse within this. This the greatness we've reached. So why not go farther with these attempts we have wrote down. It doesn't turn into a luvaz fuss. Only a for u, I'll put this aside and let's do something else. If this not the similarity I'm seeing within the piece, please tell me the author. It's okay. Understanding between author and reader is needed for me.
1

Re: Re. No if's but when's
Hey there, Birchel
This was a bit of an over indigent writing 'purge' of sorts. Just a way to reconcile how we humans can sometimes become desensitized to what's important within relationships; (of any kind ) losing track of each other and in turn the important part of working to maintain communication, connection and that deep love we should protect at all costs. My personal failure is not being fully aware that I was needing more while in the moment, from myself and definitely from my chosen partner...
It's probably a bit difficult to navigate through, I'm sure... but so are people.
I wholeheartedly appreciate you and your kind efforts and enormous support.
Thanks so much, buddy.
🌹 - 💙
This was a bit of an over indigent writing 'purge' of sorts. Just a way to reconcile how we humans can sometimes become desensitized to what's important within relationships; (of any kind ) losing track of each other and in turn the important part of working to maintain communication, connection and that deep love we should protect at all costs. My personal failure is not being fully aware that I was needing more while in the moment, from myself and definitely from my chosen partner...
It's probably a bit difficult to navigate through, I'm sure... but so are people.
I wholeheartedly appreciate you and your kind efforts and enormous support.
Thanks so much, buddy.
🌹 - 💙
Re: Re. No if's but when's
5th Jul 2022 7:57am
U are always welcome sista. And, thank u so much for thy explaination of this piece. 🌷🌍🌎🌏🐬🍑🍉🍓🥝🍇🍇🍇🍅🥥🥓🌮🌯🥙🦞🦪🍬🍭🍿🍷🥛🛵🛳️🌌🌃. I gave u all this, because, I can see it is all near u for thy hand opening.
1

Re: Re. No if's but when's
5th Jul 2022 8:04am
WOW!!!... Too freaking awesome!!
Here's some old school emoticon love sent back, in the form of magic sent your way....
✲゚。.(✿╹◡╹)ノ☆.。₀:*゚✲゚*:₀。°
Here's some old school emoticon love sent back, in the form of magic sent your way....
✲゚。.(✿╹◡╹)ノ☆.。₀:*゚✲゚*:₀。°
Re: Re. No if's but when's
5th Jul 2022 2:39pm
Re. No if's but when's
Anonymous
5th Jul 2022 00:46am
<< post removed >>

Re: Re. No if's but when's
Thank you so much, S
You have no idea how grateful I am for you being here with me, experiencing my poems and me yours.... it's an honor.
All my gratitude for everything you've said and all the kindness you continue to bestow, I cherish it so much and don't take a moment for granted.
Love you bunches,
🌹 - x
You have no idea how grateful I am for you being here with me, experiencing my poems and me yours.... it's an honor.
All my gratitude for everything you've said and all the kindness you continue to bestow, I cherish it so much and don't take a moment for granted.
Love you bunches,
🌹 - x
Re. No if's but when's
5th Jul 2022 7:08am
Very powerful and heartbreaking. I think even when it's over it still seems apart of us.
Wonderful ink, friend 😁
Wonderful ink, friend 😁
1

Re: Re. No if's but when's
5th Jul 2022 7:12am
It's tattooed indelibly into our hearts as to never forget.... at least in mine, it is.
Thank you for visiting and for sharing your thoughts with me... I am sincerely grateful, DC.
Hope you had a bit of fun on the 4th
🌹 - B
Thank you for visiting and for sharing your thoughts with me... I am sincerely grateful, DC.
Hope you had a bit of fun on the 4th
🌹 - B
Re. No if's but when's
Anonymous
5th Jul 2022 3:55pm
There is so much to like and reflect on this piece! Can't even start to parse all the things I liked! Really good!

1

Re: Re. No if's but when's
Thanks, T
Glad you enjoyed and I appreciate you stopping by to say so.
🌹 -B
Glad you enjoyed and I appreciate you stopping by to say so.
🌹 -B
Re: Re. No if's but when's
5th Jul 2022 4:28pm
PS - Sometimes writing something like this feels so risky and vulnerable that it's difficult to process the sorta gall that I feel like I need to publish in public, so it's especially impactful to have kind words and encouragement sent out through the ether....
Anyway, I just wanted to stress my deep sincerity.
-B
Anyway, I just wanted to stress my deep sincerity.
-B
Re: Re. No if's but when's
Anonymous
5th Jul 2022 4:53pm
Your poems have depth and sincerity. They speak what others think and feel. I understand the vulnerability aspect, but the other side of your expression is the catharsis. I realize that and so do most of your readers...it isn't the sexual content...it's so much more!
-T
-T

2

Re: Re. No if's but when's
5th Jul 2022 7:54pm
Re. No if's but when's
5th Jul 2022 8:55pm
This was a real journey for me. You had me taught and lax at all the right moments, those last three stanzas hurt my heart in the best way
1

Re: Re. No if's but when's
5th Jul 2022 10:53pm
Thanks for stopping by and for feeling that hurt along with me, Harley... that's a helluva compliment and I'm deeply grateful for it.
It's nice to meet you;I hope to see more of you in the days ahead.
🌹-B
It's nice to meet you;I hope to see more of you in the days ahead.
🌹-B
Re. No if's but when's
5th Jul 2022 9:22pm
Seems like it was very powerful but the spark eventually went out. Good write.
1

Re: Re. No if's but when's
5th Jul 2022 10:56pm
You nailed it in a nutshell, L
Thanks for being here, it means a lot to me that you've been visiting!
I've enjoyed it so much.
Warm regards and deep appreciation,
🌹 - B
Thanks for being here, it means a lot to me that you've been visiting!
I've enjoyed it so much.
Warm regards and deep appreciation,
🌹 - B
Re. No if's but when's
6th Jul 2022 1:03am
Re: Re. No if's but when's
7th Jul 2022 4:19am
I'm sorry I missed this very kind comment, sometimes life keeps us busy— my apologies
I just wanted to convey my deep thanks; this wasn't an easy penning, so knowing that you enjoyed reading has that much more of an affect and meaning for me.
I appreciate you taking the time to stop in and hope to see and read more from you in the days ahead.
Nice meeting you,
🌹 - B
I just wanted to convey my deep thanks; this wasn't an easy penning, so knowing that you enjoyed reading has that much more of an affect and meaning for me.
I appreciate you taking the time to stop in and hope to see and read more from you in the days ahead.
Nice meeting you,
🌹 - B
Re. No if's but when's
6th Jul 2022 6:08am
This is quite a journey, the looking back to before, trying to reconcile the now, how you're where you are, what you want, and need, versus what you've got. And then realizing it's slipping away, and not sure where it's going. I'm tired and probably not making sense, but I liked the theme and feel of this one a lot. It is twisty in places, and that's okay, it's worth the navigation. :-)
1

Re: Re. No if's but when's
6th Jul 2022 6:30am
I absolutely get it!
I get tired and a bit unmotivated maybe, hence the constant edit of this epic unload... lol... I think I even alluded to that constant state in the author's note, jeez....*eye roll* I'm a total glutton for punishment... Har Har..
Seriously though, I just figured if I didn't publish it, it would simply sit and probably never get done, which then starts to feel like an albatross...or worse, like it's rotting away, stinking up the place, or something! So I let it live it's life as is, until hopefully one day I'll return to edit it into how it needs to be vs how my mind sort of copes with it, today...if that makes any twisted sense!??!... lol.
My far too long of a point being —thanks so much for reading it through and leaving your thoughts, PS. Your comments are kind and your feedback observations keenly spot on. I appreciate what you said and I'm so glad (and relieved) you found a bit of something here.
I too, look forward to reading your comments whenever I see your notification, too! ;)
Hope all's well in your neck of the woods,
🌹B
I get tired and a bit unmotivated maybe, hence the constant edit of this epic unload... lol... I think I even alluded to that constant state in the author's note, jeez....*eye roll* I'm a total glutton for punishment... Har Har..
Seriously though, I just figured if I didn't publish it, it would simply sit and probably never get done, which then starts to feel like an albatross...or worse, like it's rotting away, stinking up the place, or something! So I let it live it's life as is, until hopefully one day I'll return to edit it into how it needs to be vs how my mind sort of copes with it, today...if that makes any twisted sense!??!... lol.
My far too long of a point being —thanks so much for reading it through and leaving your thoughts, PS. Your comments are kind and your feedback observations keenly spot on. I appreciate what you said and I'm so glad (and relieved) you found a bit of something here.
I too, look forward to reading your comments whenever I see your notification, too! ;)
Hope all's well in your neck of the woods,
🌹B
Re: Re. No if's but when's
6th Jul 2022 6:34am
"So I let it live it's life as is, until hopefully one day I'll return to edit it into how it needs to be vs how my mind sort of copes with it, today...if that makes any twisted sense!??!"
Makes perfect sense. Sometimes you have to let them go and then pay them a visit from time to time. The beauty of playing with words is that you can just keep playing, nothing needs to be permanent. :-)
Makes perfect sense. Sometimes you have to let them go and then pay them a visit from time to time. The beauty of playing with words is that you can just keep playing, nothing needs to be permanent. :-)
1

Re. No if's but when's
6th Jul 2022 11:29pm
Dear B,
This is a marathon poem. I loved reading it to the last word. What a canvas of sentiments, feelings and emotions evoke in the beginning and work through the heated moments and then settle down with comfort but still many questions. We are human beings never satiated always inquisitive to find more. It is natural. You are indeed work in progress. It encourages me post my marathon poem too. May be, I will send to your inbox to get your opinion before I post. If you think it is appropriate please write me in box.
Love,
KS
This is a marathon poem. I loved reading it to the last word. What a canvas of sentiments, feelings and emotions evoke in the beginning and work through the heated moments and then settle down with comfort but still many questions. We are human beings never satiated always inquisitive to find more. It is natural. You are indeed work in progress. It encourages me post my marathon poem too. May be, I will send to your inbox to get your opinion before I post. If you think it is appropriate please write me in box.
Love,
KS
1

Re: Re. No if's but when's
Thanks for the solidarity and the kind understanding, KS.
I wager that we're all continually works in progress, when it's all said and done. Some people just take advantage of improving upon that process to gain better insight and self enlightenment.
Your awesome and very lovely support means a lot to me, I am so very grateful and glad you enjoyed and are here, leaving your thoughts.
Sure, if you want to PM me your work so far, I'd definitely read it and give my thoughts!
Take care out there, dear poet.
Warmest regards,
🌹 - B
I wager that we're all continually works in progress, when it's all said and done. Some people just take advantage of improving upon that process to gain better insight and self enlightenment.
Your awesome and very lovely support means a lot to me, I am so very grateful and glad you enjoyed and are here, leaving your thoughts.
Sure, if you want to PM me your work so far, I'd definitely read it and give my thoughts!
Take care out there, dear poet.
Warmest regards,
🌹 - B
Re. No if's but when's
11th Jul 2022 8:48pm
The words itself speaks volumes of a story within that can branch off in many directs depending on the individuals frame of mind. A very beautiful write.
1

Re: Re. No if's but when's
11th Jul 2022 8:50pm
I absolutely agree.... and appreciate you seeing what you do!!
Fantastic vision and keen understanding, my friend
Thank you.
🌹 - 💙
Fantastic vision and keen understanding, my friend
Thank you.
🌹 - 💙
Re. No if's but when's
31st Jul 2022 7:04am
Those two opening lines felt very relatable (especially to those of us who have been in those situations), but you slowly delved into something that was not only highly descriptive, but the inner struggle of love, lust, the erotic entanglement and heart break. I had to read it a second time because you can change gears so smoothly, then realizing I missed something underneath.
It's a powerful write. At it's core, you share something that many of us have experienced and fear and lived through as we let it "dissolve to nothing".
It's a powerful write. At it's core, you share something that many of us have experienced and fear and lived through as we let it "dissolve to nothing".
1

Re: Re. No if's but when's
31st Jul 2022 7:16am
You really summed up well, what I tend to drone on about in my piece here, Walter. Really great comments, my friend. thanks.
This one was a difficult one to put out there for public consumption and I still don't feel like it's finished or really correctly written like I might have once pictured it as, in my head ... but it reflects my frame of thinking in those moments that I was penning it, so I think that's why I let it live 'out loud' so to speak. Letting it go and getting it out of my mental head space, in the long run, I think was more/most important...
I am deeply grateful for your thoughtful response. You're a true lovely human with such rich amazing abilities of empathy and honestly expression, it's rare and I sincerely respect and value you for sharing and shining that insight my way...
A pleasure... always.
🌹
This one was a difficult one to put out there for public consumption and I still don't feel like it's finished or really correctly written like I might have once pictured it as, in my head ... but it reflects my frame of thinking in those moments that I was penning it, so I think that's why I let it live 'out loud' so to speak. Letting it go and getting it out of my mental head space, in the long run, I think was more/most important...
I am deeply grateful for your thoughtful response. You're a true lovely human with such rich amazing abilities of empathy and honestly expression, it's rare and I sincerely respect and value you for sharing and shining that insight my way...
A pleasure... always.
🌹
Re. No if's but when's
2nd Aug 2022 12:52pm
how you try in earnest to make me scream
your name
dear Velvete
this speaks to so so many realms
including the one of self acceptance
it does me good to be with your inkwell once again
a warm smile
silent lotus
your name
dear Velvete
this speaks to so so many realms
including the one of self acceptance
it does me good to be with your inkwell once again
a warm smile
silent lotus
1

Re: Re. No if's but when's
2nd Aug 2022 10:46pm
I go adore your warm smiles, sl!
Thank you for spending time with me; it does me good to have you visit and leave your thoughts with me. It's always a pleasure and I'm so much better for it.
I hope you are and your are doing well.
Much love and appreciation sent your way ✨
🌹-💙
B
Thank you for spending time with me; it does me good to have you visit and leave your thoughts with me. It's always a pleasure and I'm so much better for it.
I hope you are and your are doing well.
Much love and appreciation sent your way ✨
🌹-💙
B
Re. No if's but when's
28th Aug 2022 9:59pm
Susan, your epic love tale took me into the heart of what it means to fall in love with that powerful ending that made for a climactic denouement. Oh, how the most passionate love can find itself deep in the nothingness of what might have been. Truly a wise realization in your author's note, a painful lesson that I have never learned but which your poem gives me the impetus to find.
Xo
John
Xo
John
1

Re: Re. No if's but when's
John,
This piece still haunts me in a way but I've become a bit more comfortable with it being open for public consumption, the longer it stays here ... It's hard to rip yourself open like this and not want to take it all back, scurrying back into the shadows.
As most of us well know, life is unpredictable and oftentimes harsh, so having a good way to give that emotional heaviness a place to live outside my head and heart has been a true blessing.
I adore your beautiful kindness and empathy. It does my heart good to know that I might be able to help with feelings that aren't easy to reconcile.
The breadth of your generous spirit is a soothing balm.
Much love and many wishes of warmth,
🌹 💙
-Susan
This piece still haunts me in a way but I've become a bit more comfortable with it being open for public consumption, the longer it stays here ... It's hard to rip yourself open like this and not want to take it all back, scurrying back into the shadows.
As most of us well know, life is unpredictable and oftentimes harsh, so having a good way to give that emotional heaviness a place to live outside my head and heart has been a true blessing.
I adore your beautiful kindness and empathy. It does my heart good to know that I might be able to help with feelings that aren't easy to reconcile.
The breadth of your generous spirit is a soothing balm.
Much love and many wishes of warmth,
🌹 💙
-Susan
Re. No if's but when's
30th Nov 2023 5:46am
I have got back to this and felt the pain this poem portrays. I hope your situation has improved and that your poetry and your constant tearing apart your emotions to give us something to use to better cope with life.
1
