Twin

“Twin”

Settle into the night and say goodbye.
I don’t want you to leave if I have to die,
As the nicotine clings to my fingertips
When the dead breathe onto our lips.
Take me away—take me from this cavity—
I cannot fill it with what’s inside of me
It’s eating my skin under everything
And all I needed was your understanding.

I cannot sleep without dying for you—
Thinking every day brings something new:
But I waken and the sky’s on fire—
I could not save one life or the world entire—
Everything is burning as I see what we designed
Between the teeth of what is inside my mind
Spilling into a feast for the worms inside my blood
As I lose everything, I thought that I had loved.

They’re celebrating something to be ashamed of,
I see their burn igniting the clouds above:
Rain of fantasies in flame and wires:
As they ignite their little fires,
We waken to the ache again—
The insects hiding ‘neath our skin
I cannot dream without the chemicals—
Night after night, so many funerals,
When I’m alone, it’s my own disease,
And I am dying in the waters of the conscious seas.

It’s hard to sleep when the sky is burning,
And underneath there is a yearning
For a dream behind the eyes we learned to share
But your heart is never waiting there.
I tried to call out from the coffin
That exists under my skin
But I was paralyzed, as you knew
Waiting for you to come to my rescue—
As you knew…as I called your name.
But you never came
As I knew you never would lend your hand,
But I want you to know I understand,
And I forgive you as I lie down quietly
I forgive you though you do not hear me.
I forgive you.

© 2022 Marten Hoyle