Humbled

Not a single
part of my
victory crotch
thrust mattered
when I
saw...

I would have
eaten shit,
crawled over
broken glass,
and injected
bleach into my
eyes
to see you
one more time

to know
you were ok

nothing mattered
nothing

but that you were ok.

I stood in the door
sick with guilt,
barely able
to get the
next word
to form on
hitching lips

You made light of it all,
so I turned to go,
choking on apologies,
hand on the doorknob,

and you said I can go

or I could stick around
if I felt like it.

My hand dropped
from the doorknob,
my heart dropped
right out of my body,
and I turned
because

nothing else
matters
in this moment.