"Sorry."

I am sorry.  

I am sorry that I've hurt you.  
 
You became my friend, my confidant, my love.  
 
I owe you an apology and there is never a right time for that.  
 
I never wanted to let you down, never wanted to see you cry because of me.  
 
It wasn't my intention to hurt you.  
I was afraid and I screwed up.  
 
I lied to your face. And it killed me bit by bit. But the idea of losing you because of a mistake was unbearable.  
 
Now you hate me and I have to accept it.  
I carry a burden, I owe you a debt.  
 
Being honest, these were simutaneously the best and worst times of my life.  
Yet, I still wish I could turn back time and make it right for you, for us.  
 
Punish me, I deserve it. I'll punish myself too.  
I can't undo my wrong deed.  
 
I can't sing, I can't dance, I can't breathe, I can't sleep.  
Life has become joyless.  
 
I wish for another chance, but I don't deserve it.  
My window to your heart is now closed forever.  
 
I'd like to think that, someday, you'll be able to miss me.  
To think of me as someone who wasn't afraid of imagining a future with you.  
Remember me as someone who loved you too much, too strongly, even though it was never what you wanted nor what you believed in.  
Think of me as someone you could have been with forever,  
If only timing and circumstances had been right.  
If only I hadn't screwed up so much.  
 
Know that you're important to me and you always will be.  
You're a part of my life that I won't ever let go.  
I won't ever forget you.  
 
You will always know where to find me if you ever need me, my bizarre love.