Living Forever But Dead Already

I am one of the old
The sick and the weak
Trailing behind the herd
Vulnerable to attack
Waiting for COVID to come
And take me away
Or just a bad cold
That turns to pneumonia
And fills my weak lungs with fluid
Paranoia has wormed its way into my heart
I've been protected by injections
But told that the virus can still get me
So I wear my mask still
I don't go out where there will be crowds
Not even to parties
I'm too afraid
But now it has occurred to me
That I'm not living at all
I might just as well be dead already
Because I'm hiding from life
But is it so wrong to be afraid of dying
Afraid of going into the unknown
Knowing that I haven't been the very best of people
While I lived
I don't believe in God
But I might be wrong
And if I am I'm headed to hell
I want to live forever