Jiffy Boob

it's the type of appointment  
you write at the top of those
'dumb things i gotta do' notepads  
or type into your phone
or whatever your system is  
nothing to dread  
certainly nothing to be excited about  
just life  
well, maybe just a little dread  
having one's boobs smashed between plates of glass  
could be somebody's kink  
but it not mine  
once in the waiting room  
phone's out  
about to start scrolling  
but not so fast  
my name is called  
that was quick  
it's all brusque efficiency from there  
gown ties in the front  
take your belongings with you  
and so i do  
concealing my bra 
a nice one of course  
inside a roll of clothing  
carrying my shoulder purse by the strap  
a woman in her fifties greets me  
if you could call it that  
in the imaging room  
she's neither friendly nor unfriendly  
neither pretty nor ugly  
my 36 Cs  
are far from the first pair she's seen today  
she's neither focused nor bored  
neither grateful nor resentful  
she's neither smiling nor frowning  
although if i had to choose  
i'd say frowning  
there's a concrete wall of pragmatism around her  
i'm pretty sure she doesn't write silly poetry  
or watch Beavis and Butthead reruns  
once the pink gown is untied  
she just reaches in and apprehends me  
first the right one  
then the left  
making no apologies for grabbing  
and regrabbing  
positioning and repositioning  
her no nonsense efficiency  
is neither offensive nor inoffensive  
it's just economy of time  
her business card could read  
Janet kaputnik  
tit wrangler  
i'm a quick study  
stand sideways  
put your hand up here  
relax your shoulder  
yes ma'am  
less than ten minutes after i walked in  
i'm back outside in the fierce sunshine  
rough drafting a poem about mammograms  
thinking of silly puns  
swearing i won't say  
i'm doing the breast i can  
oops i just did
Written by Pinkdreams
Published | Edited 27th Jun 2022
Author's Note
Just an attempt to inject a little humor into a humorless necessary task.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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