Bottle it up

Wow.
Five years is a while
to stay just friends.
But I'm afraid to speak up.
The thought trembles my hands,
of what you will say. What will you think?
My heart isn't as resiliant, it's weak.
So I can't take the rejection,
or the loss of your affection.
Because I have an addiction,
for your attention.
These feelings hurt, a whole damn lot.
But it's only stew in a boiling pot.
I will start to shake, I'll get too hot,
and spill the beans, like as not,
of how I feel about you and me.  
And if it's just lust, then let it be,
I can't control my hormones you see.
But if it's love, and I pray it's not
then for your sake- no, ours-
I'll keep it bottled up to rot.