deepundergroundpoetry.com
Thirsty
I crave you like carbonation
that bubbly fizz
on my tongue
burns sliding down
my throat
colder the better
just touching the edge
of brain freeze
sometimes plunging over
Can't explain why
it's so satisfying
or why I ache for that
particular pain
but I want it
every day
Author's Note
Just a bit of fun, because my brain needed it.
My favorite is a super cold ginger beer. Different kinds of burn with that. Yum!
My favorite is a super cold ginger beer. Different kinds of burn with that. Yum!
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 9
reading list entries 0
comments 14
reads 434
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re. Thirsty
12th Jun 2022 10:04am
Dear PS,
This is a fun poem. I enjoyed the comparison of love to the thought of different types of soda. I like the fun of a cream soda personality on Saturdays. Ginger ale on Sundays and cherry cola on Mondays are a must. Have to start the week with a cheerful kick or I’ll never make it to Saturday 😊
Charming write. H🌷
This is a fun poem. I enjoyed the comparison of love to the thought of different types of soda. I like the fun of a cream soda personality on Saturdays. Ginger ale on Sundays and cherry cola on Mondays are a must. Have to start the week with a cheerful kick or I’ll never make it to Saturday 😊
Charming write. H🌷
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Re: Re. Thirsty
12th Jun 2022 10:13am
Thank you, you're so kind to comment on this one. I don't really write much that even tries to touch amusing, because that is NOT my forte in writing, but I was sitting here with my drink and my thoughts and... this happened. :D
I like your flavor of the day idea! I have to be honest, most of the time I get my fix with flavored seltzer waters. Though, I'll sneak in the hard stuff (sodas) every now and then.
I'm so glad you found it fun. Your comment was fun for me. Thank you!
I like your flavor of the day idea! I have to be honest, most of the time I get my fix with flavored seltzer waters. Though, I'll sneak in the hard stuff (sodas) every now and then.
I'm so glad you found it fun. Your comment was fun for me. Thank you!
Re. Thirsty
12th Jun 2022 1:11pm
Reed's..... also tamarind drinks....and toronja...
They all have that gasping gulping effect....
They all have that gasping gulping effect....
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Re: Re. Thirsty
12th Jun 2022 1:17pm
Love Reed's, the extra ginger is so good. Will have to check out the others. Thanks for stopping by ☺
Re: Re. Thirsty
12th Jun 2022 2:20pm
Jarritos Tamarindo Soft Drink Pack of 6 - 12.5 oz https://a.co/d/45ZYPNC
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Re. Thirsty
12th Jun 2022 3:13pm
Because it's a safe sparkler for the belly.
* I like the original idea of your poem! Never seen anything on this thought. Good idea!
* I like the original idea of your poem! Never seen anything on this thought. Good idea!
0
Re: Re. Thirsty
12th Jun 2022 9:39pm
Thanks so much! It gave me a bit of a giggle to write, and it's fun to see that it works well enough that other people enjoy it too. Really appreciate your visit :-)
Re. Thirsty
Anonymous
- Edited 12th Jun 2022 9:47pm
12th Jun 2022 9:36pm
Honestly I want to see this a bit dirtier with less frivolity, but I think that’s a me thing 😅
Cut this
colder the better
just touching the edge
of brain freeze
And drop your final line
Everyday
And you’ve got a sexy ass poem about well, yeah
Cut this
colder the better
just touching the edge
of brain freeze
And drop your final line
Everyday
And you’ve got a sexy ass poem about well, yeah
0
Re: Re. Thirsty
12th Jun 2022 9:45pm
This one was meant for frivolity, though, so dirtier would make it a different poem, but I don't mind the thought process :-)
Thanks for putting your eyes on this and letting me know what you see... gives me something to think about.
Thanks for putting your eyes on this and letting me know what you see... gives me something to think about.
Re: Re. Thirsty
Anonymous
12th Jun 2022 9:47pm
I know that’s why I said probably a me thing, too much something on the brain 😅
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Re. Thirsty
14th Jun 2022 3:34am
Hi PS
I was totally immersed in a fountain drink.
Love the fizz feeling. Really gave me that
edge of brain freeze feeling while reading.
Great follow though all the way to the end.
I was totally immersed in a fountain drink.
Love the fizz feeling. Really gave me that
edge of brain freeze feeling while reading.
Great follow though all the way to the end.
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Re: Re. Thirsty
14th Jun 2022 3:46am
Hey thanks! Glad you got this one. I'm ridiculously fond of bubbles. Appreciate you taking the time to comment :-)
Re. Thirsty
14th Jun 2022 3:08pm
Hey PS, what a great ink, simple words satisfying the thirst, very unique, purple luv & hugs xo :)
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Re: Re. Thirsty
14th Jun 2022 7:32pm