deepundergroundpoetry.com
Questioning Odds
I hate questioning myself, but for those that just don't know
I've been told that I'm a problem wrapped with a pretty bow
I have been hurt, and I have hurt in return
I haven't just set hearts aflame, I've watched them burn
So I question myself, how can I be right for her
How can I be sure that I don't represent more hurt
She's so fragile, my heart and mind says she deserves better than this
But how is it possible to love anyone more than this
Lying on her side of the bed simply because she lied there
Breathing deeply into her pillow for the scent of her hair
Inspecting a rainbow trying to match the color of her eyes
Could I truly make her happy and swear to never lie
Or is it better that I bow out now, so that a new love can be found
Do I love her enough to admit that I may actually bring her down
It's painful to want and need something as much as I need this
It's as if she carries the life of this being wrapped in her kiss
But the question still lingers, it's like Atlas's weight on my mind
It's everything needed, yes for now in our design, but eternity represents a long time
Would it be a purer display of love and affection to deny myself
To dedicate my heart to whatever is there, once true love has left
My heart and mind have started a life altering debate
Should I initiate a break up or leave everything in the hands of fate
Cast lots, wage odds against the stars for her heart
Do anything to keep her, I can't just up and depart
I've been told that I'm a problem wrapped with a pretty bow
I have been hurt, and I have hurt in return
I haven't just set hearts aflame, I've watched them burn
So I question myself, how can I be right for her
How can I be sure that I don't represent more hurt
She's so fragile, my heart and mind says she deserves better than this
But how is it possible to love anyone more than this
Lying on her side of the bed simply because she lied there
Breathing deeply into her pillow for the scent of her hair
Inspecting a rainbow trying to match the color of her eyes
Could I truly make her happy and swear to never lie
Or is it better that I bow out now, so that a new love can be found
Do I love her enough to admit that I may actually bring her down
It's painful to want and need something as much as I need this
It's as if she carries the life of this being wrapped in her kiss
But the question still lingers, it's like Atlas's weight on my mind
It's everything needed, yes for now in our design, but eternity represents a long time
Would it be a purer display of love and affection to deny myself
To dedicate my heart to whatever is there, once true love has left
My heart and mind have started a life altering debate
Should I initiate a break up or leave everything in the hands of fate
Cast lots, wage odds against the stars for her heart
Do anything to keep her, I can't just up and depart
Published 5th Jun 2022
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Anonymous
- Edited 5th Jun 2022 6:23am
5th Jun 2022 6:21am
Hey, Me... ;)
I think the questioning you've tackled here is such a brave and therapeutic way to try and work through self doubt, complex feelings surrounding pain, loss and why we humans behave like we do. The potential to self sabotage is certainly complex and individualized but it's so widely common. I think it's a complicated highway of behaviors that vary greatly and when someone has finally reached a point in their lives when they're ready and actually willing to give themselves permission to be happy, loved and fulfilled, that's when the fear of hurting that one very special person we care most about, can abate. I know it's easier said than done... Just my opinion..
There's enormous freedom in an accomplishment like making those choices/changes.... if and when it's time and if there's willing, eager readiness.
Even if fiction, this piece is incredibly impactful and will totally resonate with so so many people.
Excellent (tight) poeting, my friend.
Love seeing you! 🦋
🌹 - B
I think the questioning you've tackled here is such a brave and therapeutic way to try and work through self doubt, complex feelings surrounding pain, loss and why we humans behave like we do. The potential to self sabotage is certainly complex and individualized but it's so widely common. I think it's a complicated highway of behaviors that vary greatly and when someone has finally reached a point in their lives when they're ready and actually willing to give themselves permission to be happy, loved and fulfilled, that's when the fear of hurting that one very special person we care most about, can abate. I know it's easier said than done... Just my opinion..
There's enormous freedom in an accomplishment like making those choices/changes.... if and when it's time and if there's willing, eager readiness.
Even if fiction, this piece is incredibly impactful and will totally resonate with so so many people.
Excellent (tight) poeting, my friend.
Love seeing you! 🦋
🌹 - B
5th Jun 2022 7:06am
you are a next level friend, you are there in a positive way constantly. You are a positive Lady
5th Jun 2022 1:02pm
“problem wrapped in a pretty bow”
That line resonated with me the most.
Miss Bluevelvete’s comments on self sabotage were perfect, especially being more common than we think.
Also, too often we do not allow ourselves to feel for fear of feeling too much because we think that pain will cause pain to others when in actuality, if we let them in, there may be a mutually beneficial healing. It’s the mistrust that divides. Too often, I was guilty of this also.
I agree that this is an excellent poem.
That line resonated with me the most.
Miss Bluevelvete’s comments on self sabotage were perfect, especially being more common than we think.
Also, too often we do not allow ourselves to feel for fear of feeling too much because we think that pain will cause pain to others when in actuality, if we let them in, there may be a mutually beneficial healing. It’s the mistrust that divides. Too often, I was guilty of this also.
I agree that this is an excellent poem.
5th Jun 2022 6:15pm
There a fifty-fifty chance that it can go in either direction, but most weigh the odds based on past experiences. Thank you Lady for reading and commenting, much appreciation
