Today is day three, of restless, sleepless nights

Iíve called out of work, canít focus, called out twice

Iíve taken my pills, but they donít help me sleep

Iím tossing in bed, now Iím starting to weep

Iím crying and shaking, I sit down outside

Canít control my emotions, Iím empty inside

I feel like Iím lonely, feel sad and depressed

No sleep isnít helping, itís all ícause of stress

But thereís nothing in life, thatís bothering me

I donít care about me, hold my breath, count to three

I donít care that you left, you are better off now

Episodes were too much, so I gave you your out

I do not resent you, I get why you left

You figured it out, all the lies that I kept

I gave up my writing, my hobbies, my chores

I gave up on showers, and all we lived for

I would not leave the house, weíd just order take-out

I pushed you away, when you tried to make out

With time and the meds, I became just a shell

A body, no soul, and I put you through hell

So here Iím alone, with no reason to breathe

Iím trying so hard, but Iím what made you leave

I turn to the left, and you lie by my side

I sit up, wipe away all the tears that I cried

Your lips, they are moving, I donít hear you speak

I start hearing voices, from the lack of sleep

Iím worthless, Iím useless, all things that Iím not

I didnít deserve you, or all that Iíve got

I run to the bathroom and vomit and crawl

I ask them to stop, then shout as I fall

I cower myself in the corner. then wait

Relentless, they keep on, I sit and relate

As hours they pass, I give up and agree

Iím riddled by fear. , of where theyíre taking me

Iím standing there, staring at the alcohol

They urge me some more, I have no will at all

The tears they come back, as I fill up the cup

Shouldnít mix this with meds, but I donít give a fuck

I take a deep breath, then I exhale out

Theyíll leave if I sleep, †and of this Iíve no doubt

I jump in the shower, a sloppy, drunken mess

The tears, they blend in, I sit, cradle my chest

I lie in bed naked, pray my soul to keep

Then beg God to take me, beg him for sleep
Written by Diaryofabasketcase (Silvia Rosario)
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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