Mental Breakdown poem

I feel my mind slipping away like a melting icecube on on a slab of polished concrete in the sun .
A night out of self abuse an mental disfunctions brings the worst out in a person.
The drink , the girls , the pointless hookups trying to fill the void that my heart once used to reside before she tore it from my chest ,
Playing catchup on lost time , time that I know true and well I can't get back, I don't want it back , I cherished every moment with her ,
The thought of biting down on the cold barrel of a shotgun brings me solice , knowing that that it all ends , one last pain killer in buckshot form to take away the last of the the heart ache , the swirling pool of anger and emotion that over fills in my mind building up pressure in my skull . I've tried to be positive , like a battery iv run down .