In Love With The Drugs

We fall in love with the drugs
 the drugs make us lose love
 put the fire to the pipe
 the pipe fills up with smoke
 inhaled into our lungs
 lifting us as we choke
live broke as a joke
 once addiction takes hold
 making us miss sobriety
 just not enough to let go
 every day is a hustle
until the hustle gets old
 quick licks make us rich
 so rich we are poor
abusing our income
good products go quick
keep us high as a bitch
 stuck up like the sun
putting heat on the situation
til the cloudy days come
the moon showing its face
don’t mean our day’s done
restless for the sensation of sleep
 but it won’t budge
 contemplating life
 what is like in lows
 I cry every night
I cant let it show
 last thing I wanted
was for my family to know
buried under the ice so deep
 my heart froze
 chilled and frigid cold
 awake to the insecurities
causing me to unfold
the confidence got me wanting it
so I don’t lose control
 didn’t know I’d find myself
 by living with no soul
 imperfections use to haunt me
 until we switched roles
 had to scare them away
 they were getting too bold
 couldn’t uphold
all the pressure
the obsession made me weak
 your drugs might fuck you up
but my drugs make me think
 my mind would worry constantly
 when I tried to live soberly
because my psychosis is my reality
 elevated intoxication
attempted to kill it quietly
didn’t expect
 to get cut off so violently
 when I just needed the same support i had given
to come back to me

 only to realize my position was to be the center of altercations
 so every body else got to fuck up silently
slowly its killing me
 but I feel like Ive already died
became an embarrassment
 looking at this reflection
 of me zombified
 becoming a part of the drug society
 gets me constantly criticized
 pupils measuring diameters
 as if I were hypnotized
seeing fluorescent colors
my world bright and tye dyed
 sick of the hurt
committing felonies to escape committing suicide
 only did that shit to survive
if I told you I would do it
 bet I end up doing it high
 my homie Brett spit me some real shit
this one time we was fried on the ice
 he told me functioning addicts
 are the most dangerous kind
 we go home to our family
 go to work while we smile
then we make time
to hide & smoke away our problems
 even though they still gone be here tomorrow
we play Russian roulette
every time that we buy more
 treating ourselves as collateral
 giving away our souls
 so the demons can gamble
 he advised me to not form a mold
 using himself as an example
it hurt me to agree
 knowing I was already regretful
 thinking of getting high
 but I had to
 I did but I didn’t
that was the day I realized
 I was addicted
 I  was officially a victim
I had fallen in love
 with a bitch named Crystal
 Crystal made me lose love
she made me use til I’d pass out
 then use again when I wake up
 she is selfish
 I hate her fucking guts
until they melt in my pipe
 swirling the smoke into my lungs
 hot railing through my nose
until all my pain is gone
 glazed here in my zone
 anxious to see her again
 but its wrong
 I should leave her alone
 that beautiful piece of shit
 got me looking throwed
she got the whole town paying
to get a taste of that hoe
$20 a pop $80 for a show
broke as a joke was funny
 but not funny for long
 she’ll drain you
and claim you as her own
leaving you with nothing
 but paranoid withdrawls
shadow people playing tricks on the wall
 dizziness and frustration
you wish you could shake off
 invisible bugs
 making your skin crawl
 stankin ass breathe
 lose teeth
and side effects from fetynol
 either she gone kill me
or I can be strong
 for right now I’m unprotected
 so I been hittin it raw
 letting her fill my body
while I empty hers
 twisting our souls
 no matter who it hurts
 I needed a break
 a remedy that worked
 she been working so well
 I fell in love with her
not giving a fuck
what she made me lose in return
scars from hot pipes
3rd degree burns
loneliness indebted
not fitting any of my clothes
 gaining only wisdom
 and a deeper love for dope
 Home is where the heart is
 my heart always
 moving too fast to keep up