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Rant # what ever the fuck.

Eternal contradictions fueled by self-perpetuating affliction.

Bombarded by the wrath of man, woman, and child to the point of misplacing cognition, in the process of being nurtured.  

As a man it's easy to slip into anyone's crack to be murdered, especially if you come up alone around a pack of raging fiends, zombie princesses and castrated sheep.

Husk from inhaling her gas.

The queens of Nothingness have gone ham.

Feckless as the insubstantial excuses for men who fail to truly substantiate their own existence, so they gas light everything they feel superior to, but truly such means only display fear, jealousy, and cowardice.

 

Real men are in the shadows, dying, or figured theirs out and keeping to them and their own. What's popping now is the mother's boy, backed by the resources of privilege. The likes of which they never earned themselves. Even with a litany of false merit, you only work as hard as your tone permits and reap the world in return.  

 

It makes no sense to compete in that realm. You are stronger just not as rich in material and whatever comes your way wasn’t because you came from a good place but because you tried your best and through adversity,  

 

What adversity does the average white guy face. Even white trash neo-Nazis can still make something of themselves. God forbid a “Nigger” makes all these whites look inadequate. As much as it sounds like moaning it's what even I lived. So, to tell me racism is a thing of the past makes me want to shoot a lot of people who don’t look like me dead in a crowded place for no one to run to be honest.

 

80/20

Even women live by it, and white men and the lucky or blessed elite abuse it.

 

The same Sergeant that used to tell me my best wasn’t good enough while colonels handed me awards Took me to a Wood line with three other Joe's, all of them white, gang up on the one “nigger” who makes them look bad. When that “nigger” finally speaks up to defend himself. Sgt. fucking Ronald Hughes tells the boy “I will make sure you are DD’d and not even able to work a Mcdonalds if you ever do that again. (That being not letting the good ol boy gang abuse me physically and mentally.  

 

Now you tell me turn the other cheek.  

I'm here alone basking in anger, pain and the most pathetic self-pity.  All I want to do now is take it out on all of you. Simply put I don’t like white people. It's not because I was brought up like that. It's because when I tried to be a part of a society that I was indoctrinated into thinking I could be a part of no problem and my color didn’t have nothing to do with it, I was faced with the harsh truth. My life is dictated by the color of my skin and the better I do around whites the more they will group together and keep me down. I only base this off what I lived 1st hand. Like man I tried so hard to be what I thought was normal and in YOUR world for a “Nigger” like me, that’s not possible

 

Anyway, I needed to let that out. I'm not a fan of white men or women usually. Used to love you like the next human.  The day that I die feels like the day I will know freedom, actual freedom from a racist society that dictated my path when I tried my ass off to fight for their idea of freedom. “White Comfort”  

 

Tell me some by the bootstrap bullshit please? So, I can tell you to take a rightful trip to hell.

 

Eternal contradictions fueled by self-perpetuating affliction.  

Bombarded by the wrath of man, woman, and child to the point of misplacing cognition, in the process of being nurtured.  

If you fuckers need to gang up to feel superior to one person who doesn’t look like you or subscribe to your bullshit, the world will never be a better place for us.  

 

I have had my personal and nowhere near as bad Tulsa Massacre. I've tried to climb only to have grouped up cowards use a still racist system to keep me shackled and not at my best. I'm scared shit-less if I try to go back into the world it's only going happen again. Wasted years dwelling and here I am. Angry and bitter. Lusted for the blood of those who bask obliviously to my pain. (Not only just my pain, Our pain).

 

 Maryjane can't save you people for long. Mary Jane can’t save me for long. In sobriety I am faced with the past and the truth and that’s that this world was never made for peoplel like me and never will be made to treat us as equal. Don’t matter how much MSNBC likes to perpetuate an equal world or fox likes to point to those of us blessed to come from an actual family. There are real humans behind the scenes.  If you never came from the bottom as a person of color, you would never understand.

 

Sobriety is truth.  

Hard Truth

Good Truth.

 
Written by Jonny212
Published
Author's Note
Sobriety makes me think about every part of the past I tried to run from via pot and booze.
It makes me think hard and face the facts I never wanted to and that's that this world ain't for me.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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