Collared Soul

I wish I remembered how to scream.. how do you scream
Trained myself for years how to cry silently
Scars on my left pointer finger from biting down my sobs
I want to throw glass things just to hear them break
Throw my head back and shriek my pain
But no... I sit here in the dark with my stomach turning
Rage just under my skin, boiling blood
My lip once again bleeding from frustrated teeth
Nothing fucking matters and it will always repeat
There are owners who leave collars on their dogs
The collars slowly rub their skin raw
Infection sets in
And the collar gets tighter and tighter
Sinking into the wounded neck
This emotion is a collar on my soul and it sinks deeper
And all it does is hurt so badly so often
I forget how bad it hurts until someone touches it
Then all I want to do is scream and rage out at them
At the whole fucking world for feeling any of this
Just cut the fucking thing out of me
I'm so sick of still loving you after all this time