Laying In Bed

Sometimes I cannot get up in the morning
Not because I enjoy laying there but because I have no strength to move
I wake up numb to the world
Not knowing why I cannot feel a single emotion
I know it’s wrong to have nothing worth living for
But in those moments, all I have is darkness
And it tells me to stay in bed because I am not strong enough to take on the world
I am not strong enough to do what is expected of me
I am not strong enough
It says that the moment I move, I will shatter into a million little pieces
And that will hurt more than the shame and embarrassment of not getting up at all
So I lay there
Hating myself for not wanting to deal with everything and everyone in my life
Hating myself for being like this and not knowing how to stop
Hating myself for no reason at all