deepundergroundpoetry.com
Two Steps Away (From A Heartache ( Song Collaboratiom With Jilted Johnny)
Just when I think I've got it all together
You come around and knock me down
You make me feel so small
It's sad to think I'm just your clown
We were mismatched from the start
I always knew you'd break my heart
With you I feel so darn insecure
Still the one thing I don't want is to part
I'm just two steps away from a heartache
That's the way it always seems to be
You could say sadness is my secret addiction Baby, please don't ever set me free
Listen to Two steps away (From a Heartache) by Faith Elizabeth Brigham on #SoundCloud
https://soundcloud.app.goo.gl/PjrZx
You come around and knock me down
You make me feel so small
It's sad to think I'm just your clown
We were mismatched from the start
I always knew you'd break my heart
With you I feel so darn insecure
Still the one thing I don't want is to part
I'm just two steps away from a heartache
That's the way it always seems to be
You could say sadness is my secret addiction Baby, please don't ever set me free
Listen to Two steps away (From a Heartache) by Faith Elizabeth Brigham on #SoundCloud
https://soundcloud.app.goo.gl/PjrZx
Published 24th Apr 2022
| Edited 19th Aug 2022
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 6
reading list entries 2
comments 21
reads 507
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
24th Apr 2022 10:14am
In terms of the writing...
I really enjoyed the form and rhyme scheme in this. There's a honest sadness that seeps through the lines. The narration is gentle and vulnerable. I'm a sucker for the vulnerable in poetry. There is so much to said for being human on the page.
In terms of the content...
I was watching the Depp vrs Heard case and I found it striking how often we stay in environments that are not good for us out of habit. How often we go back to places not good for us, when we know better and in the end we are living a life not destined for us.
This poem highlighted that for me.
Thanks for sharing
Al
I really enjoyed the form and rhyme scheme in this. There's a honest sadness that seeps through the lines. The narration is gentle and vulnerable. I'm a sucker for the vulnerable in poetry. There is so much to said for being human on the page.
In terms of the content...
I was watching the Depp vrs Heard case and I found it striking how often we stay in environments that are not good for us out of habit. How often we go back to places not good for us, when we know better and in the end we are living a life not destined for us.
This poem highlighted that for me.
Thanks for sharing
Al
25th Apr 2022 4:04pm
Thank you so much for your in-depth critique of my poem., Al. Your feedback means so much to me.
Faith
Faith
24th Apr 2022 11:51am
Captured the pain beautifully.
The last verse almost sang from a jukebox in a lonely bar as I read it.
The last verse almost sang from a jukebox in a lonely bar as I read it.
25th Apr 2022 4:06pm
Thank you for your wonderful remarks. Maybe, one day it will be heard on the jukebox. That is if my dream comes true.
24th Apr 2022 12:18pm
Certainly has a musical quality...
Resonating with profound truth...
The perplexing nature of the matters of the heart...
Resonating with profound truth...
The perplexing nature of the matters of the heart...
Thank you for your wonderful response to my poem. It's an honor as well to be included in your reading list.
Faith
Faith
24th Apr 2022 12:59pm
I felt the fear and anguish of the future: (1) Continue in the relation and remain unhappy, or (2) separate and be alone. Neither an outcome you want.
25th Apr 2022 8:05pm
Thank you for stopping by and leaving your lovely comments. It's always good to hear from you.
24th Apr 2022 3:00pm
Hoi hoi
I like this a lot. It’s simple and honest and warm but, more to the point, it’s a poem I could never write. I’ve tried it so many times but always there’s another poem on the look out for breaking free.
So, I don’t know if I break any rules or rub you the wrong way, but I hope you’ll OK it for me to put it to music some day soon.
I am too European for a country song but maybe my song will surprise you as much as your poem surprised me.
Please be sure to say no if you don’t like the idea. Honesty is best. Really.
Kind regards, Gus
I like this a lot. It’s simple and honest and warm but, more to the point, it’s a poem I could never write. I’ve tried it so many times but always there’s another poem on the look out for breaking free.
So, I don’t know if I break any rules or rub you the wrong way, but I hope you’ll OK it for me to put it to music some day soon.
I am too European for a country song but maybe my song will surprise you as much as your poem surprised me.
Please be sure to say no if you don’t like the idea. Honesty is best. Really.
Kind regards, Gus
25th Apr 2022 00:21am
Hi, Gus! Thank you for your wonderful remarks! You made my day! I would be pleased if you put my poem to music some day. I can't think of a greater honor. Thank you!Faith
Hoi hoi
It’s not so much a matter of honour if I may say so. We’re colleagues, right?
And I love to do some cooperation now and then, to get a different thumb print or handwriting in my songs. So I’m glad you ok’ed this.
I plan to do it today or tomorrow and I’ll be in touch as soon as I figure out how to PM etc.
Thank you for your trust. And of course I won’t post it unless you say so.
Have a nice day!
Kind regards, Gus
It’s not so much a matter of honour if I may say so. We’re colleagues, right?
And I love to do some cooperation now and then, to get a different thumb print or handwriting in my songs. So I’m glad you ok’ed this.
I plan to do it today or tomorrow and I’ll be in touch as soon as I figure out how to PM etc.
Thank you for your trust. And of course I won’t post it unless you say so.
Have a nice day!
Kind regards, Gus
25th Apr 2022 8:01pm
Hi, Gus! I'm so happy you are going to put some music to my poem. I'm really excited! If you click on someone's avatar it will bring up an option to view the person's profile. Click on it then when the profile comes up you will see the message button for one. I'm looking forward to hearing from you. I have always wanted to put music to the lyrics I have written but I don't know how to write music. I can't wait to hear what you come up with. I'm a die-hard blues fan so anything bluesy would be great!
26th Apr 2022 8:36am
Dear F,
All I know is you’re way kinder at this situation than I am. You’ve so graciously written the raw pain of betrayal and breakup. Mine would definitely have to be censored. What I related to most was the rut and addiction of sadness. I think because it’s the devil I know it’s still hard to change even when something can be made better. Excellent write. H🌷
All I know is you’re way kinder at this situation than I am. You’ve so graciously written the raw pain of betrayal and breakup. Mine would definitely have to be censored. What I related to most was the rut and addiction of sadness. I think because it’s the devil I know it’s still hard to change even when something can be made better. Excellent write. H🌷
2nd May 2022 11:07am
Dear H,
Thank you so much for your wonderful remarks. You hit the nail on the head when you mentioned the devil. This song has been put to music and can be streamed in SoundCloud.com. I am not the singer but another member here does a great job of this. This is my first recorded song and I am really thrilled Jilted Johnny helped me accomplish it.
Faith
Thank you so much for your wonderful remarks. You hit the nail on the head when you mentioned the devil. This song has been put to music and can be streamed in SoundCloud.com. I am not the singer but another member here does a great job of this. This is my first recorded song and I am really thrilled Jilted Johnny helped me accomplish it.
Faith
1st May 2022 2:32pm
Hoi hoi
Great that you already got the different pieces of the puzzle glued together. Very nice!
This cooperation was very well oiled and as friendly as can be.
Thank you for that.
It would be very nice if we could have more music/lyrics combination/collaboration in the lyrics section.
In the meantime, please look out for other cooperations as well. You’ve everything in da house for being a very very good lyricist. I can always boast for having done this when everyone was sleeping. Smiley!!!!!!!!!
Kind regards, Gus
Great that you already got the different pieces of the puzzle glued together. Very nice!
This cooperation was very well oiled and as friendly as can be.
Thank you for that.
It would be very nice if we could have more music/lyrics combination/collaboration in the lyrics section.
In the meantime, please look out for other cooperations as well. You’ve everything in da house for being a very very good lyricist. I can always boast for having done this when everyone was sleeping. Smiley!!!!!!!!!
Kind regards, Gus
Hi, Gus! You are so kind to me! Yes, it was lots of fun works by with you on this first song. I love how it turned out! I posted the link from SoundCloud on Face Book to my story section and it's getting a lot of hits. I can't thank you enough for putting your beautiful music to my lyrics and singing as well. My first song success! I wanted this for so long!
Faith
Faith
18th Aug 2022 11:58am
Dear Gus,
With your help I am now living the dream of being a recorded lyricist. I'm so happy even if it never goes beyond being an MP3 like some of my poetry. I will be eternally grateful to the Universe and mostly to you for getting it going today n. You're the best!
With your help I am now living the dream of being a recorded lyricist. I'm so happy even if it never goes beyond being an MP3 like some of my poetry. I will be eternally grateful to the Universe and mostly to you for getting it going today n. You're the best!
2nd May 2022 10:53am
Hoi hoi Faith,
Is it OK if I repost your song on a Dutch forum?
You may expect one explanatory mail plus one with a download link the next day or two.
After that I will get my foot off the throttle. I don’t want you to feel crowded (???) because of my enthusiasm.
Please let me know what you think.
Kind regards, Gus
Is it OK if I repost your song on a Dutch forum?
You may expect one explanatory mail plus one with a download link the next day or two.
After that I will get my foot off the throttle. I don’t want you to feel crowded (???) because of my enthusiasm.
Please let me know what you think.
Kind regards, Gus
2nd May 2022 11:02am
Hi, Gus! You can most certainly post our song anywhere you like. If it wasn't for you and your musical talent my work would just be song lyrics. I really am thrilled that you have helped me to get my song recorded and out there for people to hear. I have always dreamed of this happening. Other musicians have tried to in the past but always ended up dropping the ball and never following through. I really can't thank you enough.
Faith
Faith
2nd May 2022 1:29pm
Hoi hoi
You’ve already thanked me far more than enough. We’re colleagues, remember?
This is a forum where songs and lyrics are a rather quiet part. So my guess is that it will go almost unnoticed.
So I say: so what. I think it was real fun to do and I am convinced we’ll do something similar when the time comes.
I cherish small bites of happiness.
Have a wonderful day!
Kind regards, Gus
You’ve already thanked me far more than enough. We’re colleagues, remember?
This is a forum where songs and lyrics are a rather quiet part. So my guess is that it will go almost unnoticed.
So I say: so what. I think it was real fun to do and I am convinced we’ll do something similar when the time comes.
I cherish small bites of happiness.
Have a wonderful day!
Kind regards, Gus
2nd May 2022 5:46pm
Hi, Gus! It was a lot of fun for me as well. I would love to do it again whenever you want to. I have lots of song lyrics I've written posted here.
Just me,
Faith
Just me,
Faith
