deepundergroundpoetry.com
Surrender - My daughter's poem
My nakedness is a deliberate decision
and I bow happily before you in surrender.
In giving our self-possession to another,
we choose an incremental and pleasurable death.
Dispossessed of ourselves, we place our treasures
inside of each other.
Our imperfections becomes complete.
Why do your fingers tremble over my scalp
as they trace my hair?
Are they reading my thoughts?
Or, are you afraid of one so young?
The salty taste of your offering takes me back
to sandy shores where my mother says I
was conceived.
Tonight, this quiet dying to myself with you
swallows easily and I smile at the
approving hums from your chest.
and I bow happily before you in surrender.
In giving our self-possession to another,
we choose an incremental and pleasurable death.
Dispossessed of ourselves, we place our treasures
inside of each other.
Our imperfections becomes complete.
Why do your fingers tremble over my scalp
as they trace my hair?
Are they reading my thoughts?
Or, are you afraid of one so young?
The salty taste of your offering takes me back
to sandy shores where my mother says I
was conceived.
Tonight, this quiet dying to myself with you
swallows easily and I smile at the
approving hums from your chest.
Published 21st Apr 2022
Author's Note
This poem told me something I'd suspected about my daughter's relationship with the professor she's been texting. I've not interfered since they're two consenting adults now. I think the professor's language crept into this poem in terms like "self-possession" and "dispossessed."
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 3
reading list entries 0
comments 8
reads 540
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
- Edited 15th Feb 2025 10:45pm
21st Apr 2022 6:34pm
<< post removed >>
21st Apr 2022 9:38pm
Thank you for your beautiful thoughts. Yes, I'm now that mom standing alone with dolls and elastic hair ties wondering where the little girl who wanted her hair braided went.
21st Apr 2022 7:47pm
Considering she had quoted the line from the Song of Solomon about the 'room where your mother conceived you', the scenario gives a freer modern version:
The salty taste of your offering takes me back
to sandy shores where my mother says I
was conceived.
Now you have explained they are adults, reading of her dealing with him is less troubling Oddly enough I have just been watching a youtube video of what its makers consider the Top 10 age gap movies - including older man, younger woman as well as the reverse - so now I am reading of a real life age gap drama being played out as hinted by this verse:
.Why do your fingers tremble over my scalp
as they trace my hair?
Are they reading my thoughts?
Or, are you afraid of one so young?
I echo Madame Lavender's comment. It might be easier said than done (I am not a parent so it's not been in my lived experience, although I have a sister whose recently died ex-husband and father of her only child was 13 yrs senior), but I think it best and loving for her to know that you are there for her. (Think the so-called prodigal son of the parable, the son walked away but the father didn't walk away.)
The salty taste of your offering takes me back
to sandy shores where my mother says I
was conceived.
Now you have explained they are adults, reading of her dealing with him is less troubling Oddly enough I have just been watching a youtube video of what its makers consider the Top 10 age gap movies - including older man, younger woman as well as the reverse - so now I am reading of a real life age gap drama being played out as hinted by this verse:
.Why do your fingers tremble over my scalp
as they trace my hair?
Are they reading my thoughts?
Or, are you afraid of one so young?
I echo Madame Lavender's comment. It might be easier said than done (I am not a parent so it's not been in my lived experience, although I have a sister whose recently died ex-husband and father of her only child was 13 yrs senior), but I think it best and loving for her to know that you are there for her. (Think the so-called prodigal son of the parable, the son walked away but the father didn't walk away.)
21st Apr 2022 9:32pm
Thank you for your thoughts. Yes, she's now an adult and I have to step away but still love her. I'm so thankful that she confides in me even when it shakes my world a little bit. I love her so much and don't want to see her get hurt.
21st Apr 2022 9:28pm
An amazing attitude of a great mother; lucky daughter. Hugs and peace, Oral
23rd Apr 2022 4:34am
27th Aug 2022 8:28pm
Those professors and students it never gets old.
The fascination and admiration that students have for those they hold in such eminence.
At the end love is love this nobody can change.
The fascination and admiration that students have for those they hold in such eminence.
At the end love is love this nobody can change.
