Content Warning : Do you want to continue?
This poem contains content which some readers may find disturbing.
It is unsuitable for children or anyone who is easily offended.
YES
I am over 18 years old, I have been warned and I still want to read this poem.
I am over 18 years old, I have been warned and I still want to read this poem.
NO
I don't want to read this type of content, take me back to the previous page.
I don't want to read this type of content, take me back to the previous page.
deepundergroundpoetry.com
Love, after child
Love
after child
My husband was the Sun,
the fucking Sun,
loud and bright and energiful
and beautiful and damningly funny,
he burst daylight out of his body,
over half way to Adonis,
he could drag me from gloom
out upon his wings.
I was in awe of this land-God,
spent days laying in the bath of him,
breathing his breath to a hum,
following his lead,
I got to be the man's best friend,
howl at the moon,
sleep at the knee,
life goal driven.
And then,
because I loved him,
because he was a gift to the world
I wanted to make more of him,
to give more of him,
to carry him inside me from this life
to the next generation,
we had a daughter,
eyes like his,
hair like mine,
traits of both of us,
the best and the worst,
pulled the joy right out of his chest,
I watched it go -
the eclipse.
And we'd still fuck,
bathe,
walk,
sleep,
eat,
but the worship had left,
the worship was now
tied up in this child,
living inside her,
her body half way between light
and dark
and so now
when I look at him
he is still a land-God,
he is still the fucking Sun,
its just these choices we made,
my urges, his and my concept of faith,
have crushed that goodness to love dust
and if I could
I would have just admired him
in those rooms where he glowed,
left the wondrous beast well alone.
after child
My husband was the Sun,
the fucking Sun,
loud and bright and energiful
and beautiful and damningly funny,
he burst daylight out of his body,
over half way to Adonis,
he could drag me from gloom
out upon his wings.
I was in awe of this land-God,
spent days laying in the bath of him,
breathing his breath to a hum,
following his lead,
I got to be the man's best friend,
howl at the moon,
sleep at the knee,
life goal driven.
And then,
because I loved him,
because he was a gift to the world
I wanted to make more of him,
to give more of him,
to carry him inside me from this life
to the next generation,
we had a daughter,
eyes like his,
hair like mine,
traits of both of us,
the best and the worst,
pulled the joy right out of his chest,
I watched it go -
the eclipse.
And we'd still fuck,
bathe,
walk,
sleep,
eat,
but the worship had left,
the worship was now
tied up in this child,
living inside her,
her body half way between light
and dark
and so now
when I look at him
he is still a land-God,
he is still the fucking Sun,
its just these choices we made,
my urges, his and my concept of faith,
have crushed that goodness to love dust
and if I could
I would have just admired him
in those rooms where he glowed,
left the wondrous beast well alone.
Published 20th Apr 2022
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 3
reading list entries 2
comments 1
reads 337
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
22nd Apr 2022 9:04pm
Such a difficult place to find yourself, but I honestly love how you described the worship being tied up in the child. Your candid is so relatable, and the consciousness of your being able to look at this moment, analyse it, and make art out of it, is much better than I could have done when I was there. Shine on, you angel. The joy comes back one way or another.
