Drainage

My space is off
these lips are sealed
behind a smile
that's glued then peeled
away and thrown
into the trash
like wasted effort
for my cash
and time
and thought
and what appeal?
I hate myself
too nice they feel
I just feel fake
though I am real
as you or her
or them I steal
a glance but really who am I?
A dance with fate
But when I die
remember me
and all these words
most come and go as if in herds
Imprinted though
into your mind
but in the end
no ghost will find
a page from me
or look from you
Most of this life
I'm glad it's through
And now I feel I'm drowning deep
In sorrow vast
I cannot keep
above the depths
from my own well.
That claims its source
from my own hell.