In Session

 
i imagine you asking me
as you always do first thing
“how are we doing today?”
and i would reply as usual:

overwhelmed
but also anxious
and hostile
or defensive
paranoid
and fearful
volatile and
out of control
out of my fkn mind
like i’m losing my shit
over every little thing
and it’s all becoming
too god damn much
i just wanna scream

or fucking
stab something
even if it’s me
panting it out
like a bitch
in wicked heat
until i’m too
fkn exhausted
to fight anymore
and i close the door
on another failure