Forest of Soul

I don't want to be a burden to you
Don't wish to be a cloud on your sunny day
I wish I could silence my shadows
For at times they just seem so loud
I'll never be as bright as sun light,  
I'll never match the rainbows in the sky
My darkness lingers throughout my soul
Always hiding in the cracks of my mind
Tangling my feet at every step forwards
I'm sorry that I make you sad with my story  
I try to hide my tears but so often I fail
Going from rain to hail in one small glimmer
I crumble so often under my own expectation
That all I have to do is keep all this from you
It all seems so impossible to not create pain
I'm not a grassy field full of flowers and butterflies  
Not a mossy stretch by a babbling brook under trees
My being is as complicated as a haunted forest
Full of glittering webs and the living ghosts of the dead
The further you go into loving me the harder it'll be
The shadows are darkest in the depths of a forest
I look in the pool of still water mirroring the moon
Wishing I could lie and say that I truly believed that I  
Was someone who is truly worthy of love until the end  
Somedays I wish I could be the warmth of a summer day  
The feeling of cooling your feet in the water  
Toes brushing the cold stones at the bottom
But at my best I am the earliest spring has to offer  
Where the sun will hurt your eyes and the wind is chilly
I wish I wasn't a burden with all that I am
There's no defense I could ever make to you
Because I see the toll it takes on you navigating me
I have no grass fields in my being, no places to rest
I'm just a dark forest and I can't even give you a flashlight
Sometimes I am glowing mushrooms and dark green moss
But I feel like my love has grown from a decay I can't escape