miss u, love me

I suck at expressing myself,
And your directness shrivels me into a corner.
I bleed into these words to tell you things
Without ever opening my lips
To meet you face to face
Eye to eye
Like a grown woman.

Like a child,
I hide behind pretty poetry
and daydreams.
Your logic and calm
Infuriate me;
I'd rather live inside a rabbit hole,
A wonderland of walls
Built to keep you
And your lovesick insanity out.

I miss the music
And the stupid memes,
But to move forward
Without one foot out the door
Is something
I'm not quite grown enough to do.
I don't know how to undo this,
God I miss the way you used to calm me.
My darkest moments faded in and out
To the sound of your heart beating.
The fire in your soul
Hit me like a tidal wave,
And I've never quite been the same.