deepundergroundpoetry.com

Hello, depression

Hello, depression  
you're killing me  
I wish you'd find something  
better to do with your time
because I don't need you  
to hang around  
making my body feel like lead
and the inside of my head
like a never ending storm cloud  
 
I know you don't care  
that I'm so fucking tired
I can't sleep  
it doesn't matter to you
if I'm an insomniacs wet dream
full of nightmares undreamt  
until the mornings light  
 
Waking isn't better than sleeping  
and I know yoy don't care  
If I Iie in bed until  
the urge to pee  
throws my legs over the edge
and walks me to the bathroom
 
I'm sure you'd love it
if I was so tired  
I just lay there and pissed myself  
but I have too much pride  
and laundry is just another demon
I don't want to tackle today
 
...
 
Hello, antidepressants  
you're killing me  
I slept 13 hours yesterday
and I'm so nauseas I can't eat
 
I stand in the shower  
for half an hour
hoping I can feel something  
I drink black decaf
because you're giving me  
a panic attack so hard
I don't want to leave the house today
 
I drown myself in music  
and hope my heartbeat settles
into something that can pass for normal  
and tell myself to breathe
I'm totally fine
but we both know I'm lying  
 
The doc said the side effects  
will fade soon
but I'm not sure I can wait that long
with a hurricane in my chest
and a kitchen full of dishes
no one else is going to do
 
I think about not taking you
 
I stop taking you
 
...
 
Hello, depression  
you're killing me  
 
Hello, antidepressants
I hate that I need you
 
© Indie Adams 2022
Written by Indie (Miss Indie)
Published
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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