deepundergroundpoetry.com

To the Ghost of an Old Man

Old man in my mind I just dont know
Loved or hated you sure seem polarizing
I guess we have that in common, huh?
It's like everything I've been told of you
Is full of was and wasn't, had and had not
Were you a good father and a good husband?
Or were you a bastard drunk traumatizing both
Were you simply human and capable of both
Alcohol can poison the sweetest of hearts I know
I know you loved your truck and fishing
I know you worked at a junk yard crushing things everyday
But who were you old man? I sure don't know
I'm told you'd quit drinking before they told you  
That death was coming to visit you soon
I don't know how you felt in that moment
You died before I could ever meet you
I try not to think of what it would've been like
To have a Grandfather in my life growing up
Theres a picture I've seen of you once
You're standing there by your ford
Cigarette held loosely between your fingers
Your beard full and almost completely greyed
The picture isnt a good one and your eyes glow red
In the next photo that had to have happened in the same night you're there by my Grandma
And she's smiling like a love sick fool up at you
Her glasses catching the flash of light
You're looking down at her with love in your eyes
A reserved smile written on your lips
As if you didn't want to be photographed but you'd done it for her
The first bullet creates the biggest cracks
And your death was the first to shatter the glass of our family
We used to ask Grandma about you
And she'd always shoo us out the house
Telling us that we'd know you only outside
She always said she felt closest to you by the train tracks
And when she lost her mind thats where we'd find her
Pockets full of railroad spikes and calling your name
I hope you're ready to take her from this life
And I don't know what kind of man you were
But fuck I hope you come take her home
BlueBeastGirl
Written by BlueBeastGirl (Brown eyed girl)
Published | Edited 24th Mar 2022
Author's Note
My Grandmas in the hospital and I know she's unlikely to leave it. I just hope he's there when she does. She never remarried and never took off her wedding ring.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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