My Story

I didn't choose to be born    
I didn't choose my traits      
I didn't choose my circumstances      
What chose was fate      
     
The first born, perfection       
The second, a celebrated son      
The third, another girl      
The forth, a miracle son      
     
Genes decide colouring       
Genes decide character      
Genes decide temperament      
But I was shaped by you      
     
Encouraging sibling betrayal      
Rewarding the snitch       
Thrashing the guilty      
Thriving on power      
     
Made to choose the weapon      
Made to stand and wait      
Their personal punching bag       
Made to believe it's your fault      
     
Belted until guilt admitted      
Belted until you cried      
Belted if you didn't break      
Belted for your own sake      
     
I chose to fight back      
I chose not to lose       
I chose to be the winner      
I chose to show you        
     
The harder you pushed      
The harder I resisted      
The harder you thrashed       
The harder my resolve       
     
Told I was stubborn       
Told I was bad       
Told I was defiant       
Told I wasn't a loveable child      
     
I'll never be my perfect sister       
I'll never be my older brother       
I'll never be the miracle forth son      
I'll never be number one      
     
But what I will be is me      
Authentic and kind      
A loving mother and friend       
I choose, not you, how my story ends.