deepundergroundpoetry.com
Rivers
Take me to the side of your river
And let me observe the calm and treacherous
The water lillies and flowers that grow there
And maybe I'll understand the tears flowing down your face.
I'll take you to my river right now
Where the water runs shallow most days
On offdays, the river holds so much
Water overflows onto the banks.
Flowers grew there, but my water is poisoned
Occasionally nothing but blood dominates,
Don't ask me of its origins, don't ask its purpose
I'll take you to my river and maybe
You'll save me from drowning...
Baptize me in your tears and I'll cleanse you in mine.
And let me observe the calm and treacherous
The water lillies and flowers that grow there
And maybe I'll understand the tears flowing down your face.
I'll take you to my river right now
Where the water runs shallow most days
On offdays, the river holds so much
Water overflows onto the banks.
Flowers grew there, but my water is poisoned
Occasionally nothing but blood dominates,
Don't ask me of its origins, don't ask its purpose
I'll take you to my river and maybe
You'll save me from drowning...
Baptize me in your tears and I'll cleanse you in mine.
Published 14th Mar 2022
Author's Note
Show me your pain and I'll do the same. Maybe healing comes in twos
Copyright by Tshiamo Mokgethi
Copyright by Tshiamo Mokgethi
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 1
reading list entries 0
comments 2
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
20th Mar 2022 10:09am
T,
This is a beautiful poem, I’ve read some of your other work and I think you’re a really talented writer. I’m surprised this poem hasn’t received more reads and comments because personally I think it’s one of your best so far. The only thing I might change about this poem in particular is the way some of the lines flow, there’s a little bit of redundancy. Like the lines “ On offdays, the river holds so much /Water overflows onto the banks.” Could be shortened to “ Others, the river overflows to the banks.” The same idea is presented it might just fit better. Idk just some food for thought, I love your work overall and hope you keep writing. Im also a new member to the DU community and I’m proud of you for publishing, I hope we can find this site home.
-S
This is a beautiful poem, I’ve read some of your other work and I think you’re a really talented writer. I’m surprised this poem hasn’t received more reads and comments because personally I think it’s one of your best so far. The only thing I might change about this poem in particular is the way some of the lines flow, there’s a little bit of redundancy. Like the lines “ On offdays, the river holds so much /Water overflows onto the banks.” Could be shortened to “ Others, the river overflows to the banks.” The same idea is presented it might just fit better. Idk just some food for thought, I love your work overall and hope you keep writing. Im also a new member to the DU community and I’m proud of you for publishing, I hope we can find this site home.
-S
20th Mar 2022 11:12am
