deepundergroundpoetry.com
stories that began as something else and then
sometimes
you need to punch doors
to make a point
spelling vulnerability
in hand crafted
street art
confidence
isn't everything it was
cracked up to be
just as
faking it till you make it
is just a cliché'
used by people
who haven't made it
to make you feel
inadequate
tonight dreaming
words writing letters to
the future
explaining why
money is not
a reason to do something
-knowing well
without consumerism
there would
be no bread
the world isn't lovely
simply because
sun rays
paint rainbows through
misty cloudy shades
I'm sitting
beer bottle between knees
cigarette between fingers
listening to the beats
of croaking frogs
vocalized in crickets;
imagining having heard
their song before
-telling myself
its an AC/DC track
with a message
to cherish
-not to burn this page
because the truth is
this is just a dedication
to the road
of destruction
and I'm falling apart
Published 9th Mar 2022
| Edited 14th Mar 2022
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 9
reading list entries 6
comments 5
reads 270
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Ok, ok… first RL since you returned and by fuck it deserves it.
What I’ve historically admired about your writing is your uncanny ability to zone in on one particular thought, and amplify it. So much so, you can almost see you sitting there with that cig and beer (… still drinking Amstel by chance?) and kind of becoming lost in that fog with you. It becomes poignant.
That line about “the world isn’t beautiful simply because of sun rays” reminds me of something one of my favourite poets here always said — poets have a habit of making everything pretty. This here reminds us that the word beauty is largely horseshit.
There’s a lot of vulnerability here which isn’t something that many of the male writers here own. But you do. And you do it well.
I don’t know if it’s intentional, but no full stop at the end really works. Feels like the thought is ongoing, and communicates a lot of noise beyond the poem itself.
Whatever you write to the future, I hope it’s as honest as this. I hope it’s as brave. And the other part of me, well, hopes you’re ok too.
Thank you for sharing. And well, Y’know, being here.
-M 🙂
What I’ve historically admired about your writing is your uncanny ability to zone in on one particular thought, and amplify it. So much so, you can almost see you sitting there with that cig and beer (… still drinking Amstel by chance?) and kind of becoming lost in that fog with you. It becomes poignant.
That line about “the world isn’t beautiful simply because of sun rays” reminds me of something one of my favourite poets here always said — poets have a habit of making everything pretty. This here reminds us that the word beauty is largely horseshit.
There’s a lot of vulnerability here which isn’t something that many of the male writers here own. But you do. And you do it well.
I don’t know if it’s intentional, but no full stop at the end really works. Feels like the thought is ongoing, and communicates a lot of noise beyond the poem itself.
Whatever you write to the future, I hope it’s as honest as this. I hope it’s as brave. And the other part of me, well, hopes you’re ok too.
Thank you for sharing. And well, Y’know, being here.
-M 🙂
10th Mar 2022 10:10am
Well, finding one that went home to your RL, is an honor and privilege. Thank you so much for that! Super stoked at all the RL's on this...
Thank you so much for the kindness of the comments on my writing style and choices. Yes Amstel does it!
It's interesting the comment about beautiful and poetry. I feel that the "evolution of the poet" has had quite an effect on that. See back in the day, the art seemed to be to make something beautiful with words, and now it's more about the raw, stripped down truth that catches the heart.
"vulnerability" I've been consciously looking inwards of late, think it has something to do with the falling apart, that lead to a need to just let that out. Just let it out!
The full stop, glad your eye saw that, when I dropped it, it had one and after it landed, I went back to tidy it up (as we do) and deleted the damn full stop. Yes this is part of a story not the be all and end of anything.
Thank you for reading, commenting and the list!
Appreciate it muchly
Blue Skies at you!
Al
Thank you so much for the kindness of the comments on my writing style and choices. Yes Amstel does it!
It's interesting the comment about beautiful and poetry. I feel that the "evolution of the poet" has had quite an effect on that. See back in the day, the art seemed to be to make something beautiful with words, and now it's more about the raw, stripped down truth that catches the heart.
"vulnerability" I've been consciously looking inwards of late, think it has something to do with the falling apart, that lead to a need to just let that out. Just let it out!
The full stop, glad your eye saw that, when I dropped it, it had one and after it landed, I went back to tidy it up (as we do) and deleted the damn full stop. Yes this is part of a story not the be all and end of anything.
Thank you for reading, commenting and the list!
Appreciate it muchly
Blue Skies at you!
Al
10th Mar 2022 2:49am
Hey AL,
First off - what a write to life. It is brutal.
The nice stuff is great but the brutal
leaves such a mark remembered.
But in the meantime -
drink another beer
smoke another cigarette
and crank up the AC/DC!!
This is honesty on the ledge of a page amigo.
Whenever you need someone to help navigate that road of
destruction, I'll volunteer. I'll give ya time to put yourself back together:)
First off - what a write to life. It is brutal.
The nice stuff is great but the brutal
leaves such a mark remembered.
But in the meantime -
drink another beer
smoke another cigarette
and crank up the AC/DC!!
This is honesty on the ledge of a page amigo.
Whenever you need someone to help navigate that road of
destruction, I'll volunteer. I'll give ya time to put yourself back together:)
10th Mar 2022 10:16am
Hello my friend
thank you for sharing your thoughts.
I'll take brutal; I like that! Thank you!
Thank you for seeing the honesty, that means mountains!
Now...
I'll take you up on...
-beer
-cigarette
-AC/DC
and the offer to
deal with that road and it's potholes!
Blue Skies My Amigo
Al
thank you for sharing your thoughts.
I'll take brutal; I like that! Thank you!
Thank you for seeing the honesty, that means mountains!
Now...
I'll take you up on...
-beer
-cigarette
-AC/DC
and the offer to
deal with that road and it's potholes!
Blue Skies My Amigo
Al
Anonymous
5th Jun 2022 9:16am
Feels like I’m sitting next to you, listening, letting my own thoughts churn away at the issues you pose.
Melancholy, honest and human
this is just a dedication
to the road
of destruction
and I'm falling apart
An interesting thought, I think maybe you could strengthen the link to road with something like,
I’ve just lost my tyres
To show falling apart rather than stating it.
Other than that
Thankyou
Melancholy, honest and human
this is just a dedication
to the road
of destruction
and I'm falling apart
An interesting thought, I think maybe you could strengthen the link to road with something like,
I’ve just lost my tyres
To show falling apart rather than stating it.
Other than that
Thankyou
