deepundergroundpoetry.com
EVEN LESS (Palm Springs, California)
i suspect
i must take
some deep measure
of pleasure
in my need
to play
so freely
with words
to such excess
as i have
for so many
years
yet in my
blind wake
i sometimes
still sense
feel see
doubt or fear
that perhaps
im leaving
too little
behind
in what
im really trying
to more clearly
express
or say
through whatever
muse risen
words
i may choose
to use
and ultimately
end up
leaving behind
but then again
of meaning
in them
especially
here now
in retrospect
and at
other times
as well
it seems
perhaps
i may leave
even less
behind
in whatever words
i let out
to freely express
or share
when in
truth
i should
maybe consider
based upon
years
of copiously
spilled out words
as creatively
written evidence
that perhaps
in fact
i rather suspect
instead
far more often
than not
that
i tend to
leave
a bit
or way too
much
of both meaning
and myself
behind
in the
individual
and collectively
inspired
personal
written impressions
freely languaged
peculiar
spills
ive already
long left
and still leave
behind
in my ongoing
temporal journeys
experiential
wake
through
and who knows
perhaps
maybe even
beyond
this crazy assed
illusory world
which
im clearly
so
very much
still stuck in
presently
here
even
now
Published 5th Mar 2022
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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The author encourages honest critique.
5th Mar 2022 4:15am
good evening dearest poet
I think in regards to my own poetry
I am journaling my encounter in this life
it is important also what we leave behind
funny thing my dad was a writer too like me
but he wrote in secret I never knew until he died
I never got to see what he wrote my stepmom burned it...
I think it's important to find someone trustworthy
as so much of what we write isn't for all..,
great write....
I think in regards to my own poetry
I am journaling my encounter in this life
it is important also what we leave behind
funny thing my dad was a writer too like me
but he wrote in secret I never knew until he died
I never got to see what he wrote my stepmom burned it...
I think it's important to find someone trustworthy
as so much of what we write isn't for all..,
great write....
29th Mar 2022 7:23am
Thank you crimsin for all your comments, your kind compliment & personal sharing with me here. So sad & truly tragic that your stepmother burned all your late father's secret writings, which you never knew about until after the fact (!!!😳🤯😢). Similarly my late Father & Mother & my younger brother & sister & their now fully grown kids (my nephew & nieces), all knew that I have been a writer & poet since I was around 15 & throughout my entire life since then, but none of them had, nor still to this day (I'm 68 now!!!), have ever expressed, nor shown any interest or curiosity at all about my poetry, writing, nor my lifetime of even more interesting & unique artwork (illustrations, paintings, sculptures, etc...!???!
So I too, much like your late father, had been a totally secretive, closet poet for nearly 45 yr.'s of my life (& I was self consciously ashamed & terrified to ever admit it to anyone, because poetry back then, esp. in red-neck Texas where I grew up, was considered to be solely an 'aerie-faerie', feminine endeavor & realm, so 'GOD FORBID (!!!🙀😱🙀!!!) 'ANYONE' should ever find me out!!! - (lol) & No matter however much I at times internally wished that I wasn't, nevertheless, I still could not suppress, nor completely turn off all the rivers of words, which seemed to subconsciously & consciously flow through me day & night, from my personal muse, who seemed to always (since my earliest encounter with him) perceive & express him (or 'itself'?) in strange & peculiar ways, which my own brain, mind & thoughts did not normally think, nor socially communicate like at all!?!
In regards to your comments about the importance of finding someone trustworthy to share & leave or lifetime's works (poetry & art) behind with, I fully realize that the idea of leaving such a legacy behind for as many people & even future generations to have easy access to, would be an ideal & a wonderful life achievement in & of itself, but I also think, feel & believe, that like your late father's completely obliterated (burned) legacy of his secretive creative writings, that mine too may very well succumb to such a seemingly tragic & relatively 'pointless' fate (with the exception of 'OUR' one, most fortunate saving grace here: DUP - Deep Underground Poetry'('!!!😃!!!👻!!!)!
So, even 'IF' that should be the fate of my, yours & every Poet's lifetime of writings & poems, at least our very personal, body, mind, heart & soul's inspired reflections, creatively expressed impressions & all our uniquely individual (but also intangibly universal) words & shameless spills, will have not have all been completely created in meaningless vain, because thanks to DUP, we have all been so very fortunate & blessed to have been alive during this specific time in the collective history of our temporal human lives upon this our precious, but possibly, presently dying, Sacred, living, conscious Mother Earth, where our words, our uniquely individual live's stories expressed in poems, have been read & felt (even if our words in the end should end up having deeply touched, moved, inspired, uplifted, helped comfort or entertained only one other living human being & soul, or many thousands, then that too will have been enough & will have given true (more deeply transcendent) meaning & value, on a personal & a spiritual/soul level to what we each & all (?!?) have individually created & brought into this world & already now have so openly & freely shared!!!
As opposed to & in contrast to the opposite scenario of, had any of us never discovered DUP at all & had our lifetime's inspired creative writings, stories & poems never been seen, read, heard, felt, nor shared by anyone at all, but had only been secretly hidden away in a box, up in the top of some dark closet, never to have been seen by anyone's eyes, other than our own alone, throughout our lifetimes, or had they ended up being so unconscionably burned by someone Or lost to some natural disaster or sudden catastrophe, such as an earthquake, tornado, hurricane or WAR!...
But then again, on second thought, even if they were lost to something like that, I truly believe that they would not be lost in Total vain, nor meaninglessly, because they came into inspired, creative being & arose through each & all of us, we writers & poets & so served us all well as not just our creative expressions, but I believe that to some degree, our individual 'muses' (that mystical, mysterious, inner voice or energy which compels & inspires us to write in the first place) are also, most definitely, our individual, spirit-guides, 'guardian angels &/or our personal, lifelong psychologists, psychiatrists & therapists as well!!!... I mean, Who the 'F' really knows for sure, but I myself (presently here at least!), at this point (& in overall retrospect, throughout my life's long strange trip of an experiential 'journey', so far!?!) truly believe & 'know' that's true for me & therefore I can only intuitively suspect, that it likewise must also be true (to some or varying degrees) for us all?!!!?... lol
OK..., well... uhhh... Wow, don't quite really know (wtf) all I just said or spontaneously purged up here crimsin (?!!!?), but I guess 'That just happened!?!', so my post-read, latent apologies to you a bit too late here, if you should have actually just read my entire runaway train of a response's embarrassingly & exhaustively long & obviously brakeless, stream of conscious, 'run-on-rant' here... (I may have been the one who just wrote, unleashed & released this wild, rabid stampede of convoluted, thoughts & words, but I'm profoundly relieved that I'm not the one who's received it & who may or may not, now have to decide whether or not they should even attempt to read it, but God help you 'if' you do, because that courageous act alone, might imply or suggest that you too might be at least half as crazy or overly indulgent a writer & poet as me!???!... - ('HA!' ~ lol)
btw - I think it all began, by my finding & reading your wonderful & your enviably much more succinct, response text's, sincerely appreciated, personal comments to me in regards to my poem here. But I'm sure the more specific catalyst, which triggered my unexpectedly, way too long, spontaneously combusted, relative response back to you, was my reading about the truly sad & deeply disturbing fact about your stepmom having burned ALL your Dad's secret writings (🔥!!!🤯)!!! So thank you again crim for your thoughtfully shared comments & words & for your kindred, creative resonance as well sweet DUP Poetess friend!
~ ( 👁🔥👁 ) ~ ( 👁🦋👁 ) ~ ( 👁☀️👁 ) ~
OIN 👍🏻😎☀️
So I too, much like your late father, had been a totally secretive, closet poet for nearly 45 yr.'s of my life (& I was self consciously ashamed & terrified to ever admit it to anyone, because poetry back then, esp. in red-neck Texas where I grew up, was considered to be solely an 'aerie-faerie', feminine endeavor & realm, so 'GOD FORBID (!!!🙀😱🙀!!!) 'ANYONE' should ever find me out!!! - (lol) & No matter however much I at times internally wished that I wasn't, nevertheless, I still could not suppress, nor completely turn off all the rivers of words, which seemed to subconsciously & consciously flow through me day & night, from my personal muse, who seemed to always (since my earliest encounter with him) perceive & express him (or 'itself'?) in strange & peculiar ways, which my own brain, mind & thoughts did not normally think, nor socially communicate like at all!?!
In regards to your comments about the importance of finding someone trustworthy to share & leave or lifetime's works (poetry & art) behind with, I fully realize that the idea of leaving such a legacy behind for as many people & even future generations to have easy access to, would be an ideal & a wonderful life achievement in & of itself, but I also think, feel & believe, that like your late father's completely obliterated (burned) legacy of his secretive creative writings, that mine too may very well succumb to such a seemingly tragic & relatively 'pointless' fate (with the exception of 'OUR' one, most fortunate saving grace here: DUP - Deep Underground Poetry'('!!!😃!!!👻!!!)!
So, even 'IF' that should be the fate of my, yours & every Poet's lifetime of writings & poems, at least our very personal, body, mind, heart & soul's inspired reflections, creatively expressed impressions & all our uniquely individual (but also intangibly universal) words & shameless spills, will have not have all been completely created in meaningless vain, because thanks to DUP, we have all been so very fortunate & blessed to have been alive during this specific time in the collective history of our temporal human lives upon this our precious, but possibly, presently dying, Sacred, living, conscious Mother Earth, where our words, our uniquely individual live's stories expressed in poems, have been read & felt (even if our words in the end should end up having deeply touched, moved, inspired, uplifted, helped comfort or entertained only one other living human being & soul, or many thousands, then that too will have been enough & will have given true (more deeply transcendent) meaning & value, on a personal & a spiritual/soul level to what we each & all (?!?) have individually created & brought into this world & already now have so openly & freely shared!!!
As opposed to & in contrast to the opposite scenario of, had any of us never discovered DUP at all & had our lifetime's inspired creative writings, stories & poems never been seen, read, heard, felt, nor shared by anyone at all, but had only been secretly hidden away in a box, up in the top of some dark closet, never to have been seen by anyone's eyes, other than our own alone, throughout our lifetimes, or had they ended up being so unconscionably burned by someone Or lost to some natural disaster or sudden catastrophe, such as an earthquake, tornado, hurricane or WAR!...
But then again, on second thought, even if they were lost to something like that, I truly believe that they would not be lost in Total vain, nor meaninglessly, because they came into inspired, creative being & arose through each & all of us, we writers & poets & so served us all well as not just our creative expressions, but I believe that to some degree, our individual 'muses' (that mystical, mysterious, inner voice or energy which compels & inspires us to write in the first place) are also, most definitely, our individual, spirit-guides, 'guardian angels &/or our personal, lifelong psychologists, psychiatrists & therapists as well!!!... I mean, Who the 'F' really knows for sure, but I myself (presently here at least!), at this point (& in overall retrospect, throughout my life's long strange trip of an experiential 'journey', so far!?!) truly believe & 'know' that's true for me & therefore I can only intuitively suspect, that it likewise must also be true (to some or varying degrees) for us all?!!!?... lol
OK..., well... uhhh... Wow, don't quite really know (wtf) all I just said or spontaneously purged up here crimsin (?!!!?), but I guess 'That just happened!?!', so my post-read, latent apologies to you a bit too late here, if you should have actually just read my entire runaway train of a response's embarrassingly & exhaustively long & obviously brakeless, stream of conscious, 'run-on-rant' here... (I may have been the one who just wrote, unleashed & released this wild, rabid stampede of convoluted, thoughts & words, but I'm profoundly relieved that I'm not the one who's received it & who may or may not, now have to decide whether or not they should even attempt to read it, but God help you 'if' you do, because that courageous act alone, might imply or suggest that you too might be at least half as crazy or overly indulgent a writer & poet as me!???!... - ('HA!' ~ lol)
btw - I think it all began, by my finding & reading your wonderful & your enviably much more succinct, response text's, sincerely appreciated, personal comments to me in regards to my poem here. But I'm sure the more specific catalyst, which triggered my unexpectedly, way too long, spontaneously combusted, relative response back to you, was my reading about the truly sad & deeply disturbing fact about your stepmom having burned ALL your Dad's secret writings (🔥!!!🤯)!!! So thank you again crim for your thoughtfully shared comments & words & for your kindred, creative resonance as well sweet DUP Poetess friend!
~ ( 👁🔥👁 ) ~ ( 👁🦋👁 ) ~ ( 👁☀️👁 ) ~
OIN 👍🏻😎☀️
