Saudade

I deleted your number
from my contacts , today, and
it felt like
jumping off an iceberg, into
frigid waters--
shocking , yet a small bit
exhilarating.

Took me seven years
to nurse the courage
to hit that button.

Oh, I knew from the start
that Heaven would never let you text me ...
but I wondered "What if....."

I won't can't delete
your emails, though--
not yet.

It drained a lot from my marrow
to do your phone number, today.

(That'll have to suffice, and settle in.)

I printed them, though ,
the emails
and put them with the pictures of us.

Oh, some would say
"Get on with your life , already!"

But it's not so simple
to open my heart again, when
I can just be safe
and read how much you loved me.

It's sort of easier , that way.


Love, to you ....XOXO