deepundergroundpoetry.com
Stolen things
The day you left I cried out to the sky and threw away all of my toys; because I was no longer a child. At least not yours.
The day you told me you weren't coming back home I yelled at god and cursed him,
because mothers aren't supposed to leave their daughters behind alone and unloved.
And for some reason mine did.
On my twentieth birthday I sobbed on the shower floor for an hour because I realized this was my first birthday in six years that my mom and little sister would not be sleeping under the same roof as me.
And when you finally showed up the sobs in the back of my throat spent all night trying to claw their way out of me.
I can't eat my favorite salad anymore, because when I do it takes me back to happier times when i didn't feel this way and I felt like my mom actually wanted me,
And now it is never the same; and that is another thing that you have taken from me.
I don't like long car rides anymore either, because it reminds me of warm summer days with the windows down and some obscene song crying out from inside of the car;
That is something I will never get back.
These are all of the stolen things that you ripped from me, mommy.
The best memories of my lifetime; they are nothing but ash and bone now,
Shoved into a deep dark abyss inside of my mind that I vowed to myself that I will never think about.
You did that too, I guess.
Perhaps I am just another stolen thing, too.
The day you told me you weren't coming back home I yelled at god and cursed him,
because mothers aren't supposed to leave their daughters behind alone and unloved.
And for some reason mine did.
On my twentieth birthday I sobbed on the shower floor for an hour because I realized this was my first birthday in six years that my mom and little sister would not be sleeping under the same roof as me.
And when you finally showed up the sobs in the back of my throat spent all night trying to claw their way out of me.
I can't eat my favorite salad anymore, because when I do it takes me back to happier times when i didn't feel this way and I felt like my mom actually wanted me,
And now it is never the same; and that is another thing that you have taken from me.
I don't like long car rides anymore either, because it reminds me of warm summer days with the windows down and some obscene song crying out from inside of the car;
That is something I will never get back.
These are all of the stolen things that you ripped from me, mommy.
The best memories of my lifetime; they are nothing but ash and bone now,
Shoved into a deep dark abyss inside of my mind that I vowed to myself that I will never think about.
You did that too, I guess.
Perhaps I am just another stolen thing, too.
Published 20th Feb 2022
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