Standing At The Crossroad

I’m not sure how we got here
Though maybe I just don’t want to know
While we’re standing at this crossroad, so dark
Not even the stars can light the way back
To better days and better ways
Before I understood what it truly means
To be alone

And it’s not the loneliness that kills me
It’s the fear that it will never get better
And the sad fact that I have no one to talk to
When my thoughts slip and I ponder
What it would be like to let go
And dissolve into the darkness
Of the other side

Cyclic thoughts that drive me mad
Wondering, what is wrong with me?
Because maybe, just maybe…
It’s not me that’s wrong
And if so, why can’t I seem to remedy
The emptiness that threatens
To punch a hole straight through me

And I don’t want to be alone
Nor live my life in fear
Where I’ll eventually and inevitably
Take a razor to my skin
And down the poison
With a special dose of sleeping pills
In the misguided effort to find some peace
And end this pain

I’m not sure how we got here
Though maybe I just don’t want to know
While we’re standing at this crossroad, so dark
Not even the stars can light the way back
To better days and better ways
Before I understood what it truly means
To be alone

© Indie Adams 2012