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deepundergroundpoetry.com

Blurred Reflections

As she sat down on the bench in front of the vanity, she found herself in an unfamiliar place. How long had it been since she had sat here? Who was this reflection looking back at her? Had it been that long that she no longer recognized her own reflection? Had her past became no more than a blurred reflection? Not unlike the blurred reflection looking back at her right now. Who was this woman in this mirror? As she lit a cigarette and blew out the smoke, it was as if she was seeing this lady through a cloud.
The cloud slowly thinned and reality shifted. The face in the mirror reappeared only this time it was her high school self. She was along with her mate for life, Daryl. She had shared so much more with Daryl than her cherry. They had shared secrets, family, and friends for what seemed like their entire life. There was nothing that they couldn’t share, the pain, the abuse, their first cigarette, and their first alcoholic drink. She knew that Daryl bragged to the boys about climbing into her bedroom window. His letterman’s jacket marked his territory. Being in a relationship with Daryl felt just as safe and secure as wearing his jacket. High school was a breeze, with or without friends Daryl and her always had each other. So many Friday nights copping some alcohol of whatever kind from whomever. Just the two of them down behind the cotton gin drinking and discussing a future together.
She took another drag from her cigarette and again the scene changed. High school was now in Daryl and her past, they had decided on jobs instead of college. They had rented a small piece of land with a double wide mobile home on it. Daryl worked extra shifts and she worked extra hours. Their time off was spent with good friends and an introduction to the bong. The mirror showed so many spliffs and blunts rolled as the parties rolled non stop. New people like Linda and Gary were introduced into their life. Linda and her became quick gal pals. Linda got a job working with her her and they hung together after work. Daryl and Gary became best buds hunting and fishing together. There was no shortage of good weed. Linda and her smoked before work and as soon as they got off. Yes life was good and everlasting.
She began doing her make up as the tears welled up and began rolling down her cheeks. Through the blur it was so very hard to see when the cocaine came into both Daryl and her lives. But it was obvious that Linda and Gary were there championing them on. Their friendly gatherings soon had more liquor and powder than grass. The parties remained non stop, it was as if the entire crew was tooting powder. The jobs came and went, and in the mean time bills had to be juggled to include cocaine the new member of the family. Daryl and her had agreed no children until they married, but cocaine became their expensive baby. . She was lucky, Linda and her got jobs waiting tables at Linda’s uncle’s diner. The hours were long but with hourly wages and tips they managed to do alright. Daryl found part time work with his uncle in construction. He also hustled on the side, he was a dam good mechanic. Yes the baby was eating well, and the house and property were starting to show it.
As she took another long drag and began doing her her eyes, she saw the land owner unsatisfied with the property upkeep giving them until the end of the month to move. Both of the with no wheres to go, Linda and Gary had their own problems, decided to move into a motel room. As Daryl explained, with no house or property maintenance and only one bill to pay, they could get back on their feet. Linda and Gary soon moved into the motel liking the one bill theory and having some place to stay. Soon a third and slightly older couple was added to their group, Kelvin and Teresa. They all shared the same tastes and they all shared with each other. Yes the baby was learning to talk and life was good.
One night she was called at the hotel by her boss, Linda’s uncle.She was asked to come to the hospital if she wanted to see Linda before she passed away. She sped to the hospital and found an exhausted Daryl there in the waiting room. She didn’t think at the time to ask how did he hear about about Linda. She went to Linda’s room and shared in her final moments. She also found out that Gary was in intensive care unit in the same hospital. Linda’s uncle explained that they were in the wrong part of town for some reason and they were attacked. Daryl rode back to the motel with her where she broke down crying uncontrollably. The two of them drank and tooted, but the pain was so thick it was clouding her entire world. Daryl went into the bathroom for a minute and when he returned he had a pipe and a baggy filled with crack. He sat beside her and like a child he showed her how to blaze a pipe.
With the lighting of another cigarette the mirror would not release her. It showed her, Daryl and her hitting the pipe before visiting Gary in the hospital. Gary at this time revealed a part of the story telling what happened on the night that Linda died. It appeared that someone had snatched some drugs from some dealers. The dealers had caught them and Linda’s death had been a part of the results. Two weeks later Gary was released from the hospital and two weeks after that he came into an insurance settlement. Kelvin and Teresa, she found out were the originators of introducing her group to crack. Gary took his settlement and paid some bills, but he made sure that there was plenty of crack. He quickly found a replacement for Linda that wasn’t always around. It was generally just the five of them left to care of this new baby, and this one ate even more than the last one.
The mirror flickered as she filled a glass up to the rim with vodka. It was the cheap shit, but somehow they always had it on hand, The image stabilized and she saw the night that she returned from work at Linda’s uncle’s diner. Daryl and Gary were sitting in the room drinking and paling around. She didn’t find it strange that Kelvin and Teresa weren’t there, they would be over later. Daryl and Kelvin had been hustling and stealing together lately. As if on cue, Kelvin and Teresa came over needing a ride somewheres. Gary asked Daryl before he left if he thought that his man was holding. Daryl said that he was holding earlier. She left going into the bathroom for a shower as the four of them discussed a score.
She had already showered and put her bra and panties on. While standing in front of the mirror she listened to the quietness coming from the room as she brushed her teeth. Just as she was thinking that all four of them had gone to score together, Gary turned the knob and entered the bathroom. She asked him what was he doing as he reached for and felt her ass. She twisted out of his of his hand and in the mirror she could see that his dick was already out. He reached for and felt her breast, stepping up closer behind her. She turned around pushing him backwards before he could slide his hand into her panties. He stumbled backwards and through the doorway. She then slammed and locked the door. Gary knocked on the door begging to be let in as she shouted at him to go away. She had never expected this type of behavior out of Gary, not only was he nice looking, until now he was a really nice guy. She stayed in the bathroom until she heard Daryl return with Kelvin and Teresa. She paused with the door knob in her hand as she heard her Daryl, her Daryl, ask Gary, “did she do anything?” Gary now sounded pissed as he said, “fuck no, you owe me man, you owe me.” Then Daryl was knocking on the door asking to be let in. She unlocked the door and he came in closing the door behind him. Before she could tell what Gary had been up to , Daryl leaned against the sink and began telling her his story.
He said, “I really need you to do something for me, something that I’ve never asked you to do before. This thing with Gary I need for you to let that go. I really need for you to do what he’s asking.” Just as she was about to protest he asked,"do you remember the night that Linda died?"She said, “yes.” He asked, “did you ever wonder how I made it to the hospital before you?"She said, “I did at the time but later I forgot all about it.” Daryl said,"well the day started with me setting up a deal for Linda to exchange some sex for some drugs. When we got there I spotted the baggy full of crack. I quickly calculated that at most Linda would earn a few dimes for her pussy. Before the gang could react I grabbed the bag of crack and took off running. Gary and Linda were caught off guard just as much as the gang and were quickly caught. I on the other hand quickly put distance between that gang and me. There was no way that I was going to let a gang of out of shape guys with their pants around their knees catch me. I was in the back of a gas station going up when the rescue squad passed me head in Gary and Linda’s direction.I went up anyways and as the rescue squad returned headed in the direction of the hospital I began following on foot.” This explained why he had looked the way that he did at the hospital. Why he had a baggy filled with crack afterwards. Daryl farther explain that Gary had just brought two eight balls and that they were going up afterwards. She grudgingly agreed to do it for him, she also really needed to go up. Daryl left and Gary returned, she told him that she would blow him but that he couldn’t have any pussy. He agreed as the mirror showed her going down on her knees and sucking Gary off.
The demands for sex became more frequent from Gary and in return he brought crack. It wasn’t long before he was demanding pussy and not the blowjobs. She really couldn’t see any reason to not fuck Gary now. Since the first night of hearing Daryl’s story, and Gary’s first blow job, Daryl had became distant. He never touched her anymore and only talked to her about needing another favor. Kelvin and Teresa started hanging around even more and she found that both Teresa and her were in the favor business. She found out that Gary had long since slept with Teresa and that Kelvin was cool with it. She allowed Gary to bend her over the sink and she soon accepted that out of the three guys he was the only one that wanted sex. But Daryl started showing up with more and more men needing her to perform her favors. Lots of the men like Gary demanded pussy and wouldn’t accept blow jobs. Soon Linda’s uncle let her go from the diner as word got around about her life style. It appeared no one wanted a drug addict slash prostitute handling their food.
The mirror showed the years slipping by as Daryl’s crimes and her body became their main sources of support. The occasional job here and there were to brief to be considered part time employment. Daryl had sunken into a hole and became more of a dependent than her man. Gary while trying to out run the cops died in a head on collision. They were all a little surprised after his death to find out that Gary came from an extremely wealthy family. Gary’s body was returned home to his family for burial. Daryl and Kelvin went into his room and stole all of his stuff, and then there was only four of them left, or two Teresa and her.
She saw the transition as she hung out with Teresa more, and as Daryl paired up with Kelvin more. Teresa and her would turn tricks together and if there was enough money offered they really would trick together. She looked at Daryl on several occasions and suspected that he was in over his head hanging with Kelvin. It looked as if he had aged years in only a few months. Teresa and her had begun working out of this bar called "Shakers,” and business was really good. They were fresh faces and the baby was really eating good. Teresa got busted and was forced into rehab, Kelvin not being able to afford the room moved in on family. But every morning there he was at the door looking for Daryl.
As she lit another cigarette and drained the glass for the second time, the reflection shifted again. There she sat at the mirror with a tear stained face. She could see the entire room behind her and there was Daryl lying back on the bed with a needle hanging out of his arm. She started crying again knowing that one of her babies was dead. She got up went into the bathroom and washed her face. She then reapplied her make up, tonight she was going to “Shakers” for only one baby and herself. Tomorrow she would face the death of Daryl and notify the proper people. But tonight she was going to feed her baby well one last time and sleep with Daryl as Tiffany one last time.                                                  
I_IS_ME
Written by I_IS_ME
Published
Author's Note
Hahaha, I told you I see you from the darkness
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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