dead desire

I watch them laugh
I watch them play
giggles of joy chime
the sweetest rhyme
and I'm far away
the silent suffering is scorching its way
out from a frail rotten corpse
of empty hopes
crazy heart
pumping blood
in vain
my veins dripping insane
with a resounding thud
my smile fell in the dust
then peace and love followed
one drop after another
reverberating as they hit the ground
getting louder and louder
in my head
I'm dead
a prelude to mayhem
and I still watch them
with empty eyes
-home to hushed cries-
as anxious what ifs whirl around
a dark uncharted wound
torn wide open
again
I watch them talk
I watch them hug
they're where they belong
but I'm not
it must've been another life
an other time
now there's just this hiss
from the depth of an unfathomable abyss
calling me
charming me
fucking with my head
I'm dead
I watch them kiss
what a bliss
I see them in red
burning brightly ahead
but I am dead
dead
dead