Celtic Dawn

Celtic Dawn was the CD I played
when I was new to Arizona
when I moved into a sports-themed bedroom
in a weird guy's house
and took down the golf and football pictures
replacing them with pretty things
i spilled geranium nail polish
on the newly white tiled bathroom floor
perhaps on purpose

i played the comforting, foreign songs
like a soundtrack to a forgotten lifetime
when my small room became my cave
when fragrant lemons warmed by the sun
dropped lazily from the trees
near the pool
with a rusted ladder at the bottom
he was a weird guy
highly intelligent
successful but lazy
i wasn't interested
in his attempts to bond

strange Celtic songs comforted me
when a promising 2nd date was the last
when I worked hard but felt like a nobody
when i ate dinner alone in my room 
in front of my computer
fishing for inappropriate men
when I looked out of my small window
onto garbage cans and sun warmed lemons
and wondered why i couldn't mesh with this nice enough stranger
why i didn't want to
why i wouldn't even try