I remember laying the wreath
On the day I forgot how to breathe.
Petals fell with the rain on your skin.
Somewhere I heard a song begin
And it was if everyone and everything
In that moment waited for you to sing.
I think Iíll keep dying in ways you canít tell,
Written on my lips, a poison farewell.
I do not want to say goodbye again,
But I canít bear to miss you anymore.
That is just the way it has been:
Waiting for you on the far side of the door.
Iíve been lost in the morning as if in the dark
On seas where no ship dares to embark:
Seeking shores in the waste of glass
As the spectral heartbeats of yesterdays pass.
Cigarettes and strangersónone of these men
Mean a thing. I just need to feel something again.
And Iím crying as if youíll watch me fall apart
And come to rescue whatís left of my heart.
I thought Iíd finally laid the pain of you to rest
But each day, my resolve is put to the test.
I think Iíll try to pretend Iíve passed you and moved on
But this is a war thatótry as I mayójust cannot be won.
I thank the silence for making me see your silhouette
And I thank your voice for what I cannot forget.
But I am lost in so many ways I cannot feel a reason
To move on from this somber season.
And the love you never gave was a love that felt so beautiful.
My heart belongs to emptiness now, but you still hold my soul.
And Iím wasting my time, but as long as I am alone,
Iíll wait amid tears for you to come home.
© 2022 Marten Hoyle