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Exercise Diary Entries

1. Every time I go to the bathroom
I see that damned scale on the floor
and am tempted to weigh myself.
And every time it hits 190 pounds
I hear the doctor's voice in my head,
Have you ever tried just walking?

2. Every crunch,
every salad,
every peanut butter sandwich,
every juice cleanse,
every single thing I do
doesn't make me lose
any more weight.
So, why should I have to choose
between being obsessively healthy
and the less consistent snacks I love?

3. Every curve that hits a bone
in a perpendicular fashion
makes me want to try liposuction.
That black slip dress is supposed
to make me look thinner,
as it's my little black dress,
but all I see is a whale
suffocating in clothing
too tight for her rolls.

4. I've hated myself more
and I think it contributes
to my disorderly eating.
I think it contributes to me
throwing up my meals.
I think it will kill me one day.

5. There's nothing wrong with my body.
Maybe it's just the medicine I take
to keep my mental health stable,
and honestly I would take being fat
over killing myself any day.
Maybe it's PCOS.
I would take being fat over having no ass
or tits
or rolls to jiggle when I twerk on that dick.

6. I hated my body so much,
I considered drinking straight lemonade
for an entire day, and not eating.
Just so I could see if I lost a pound or two.
But nothing comes off, I just keep gaining,
or I stay the same.
I'm as healthy as I could be,
just no exercise.

7. You look like you gained weight.
I don't fit into mediums like I used to,
are all that run around my head.
I don't need and excuse as to why I'm a fourteen.
I don't need people to comment on my body
So, fuck you
and your societal standards.
I love my ass and my hentai titties
and my boyfriend loves them too.

Written by rcfpoetry (Roxanne Finniss)
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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