Good Grief

Good Grief…
Such a strange saying,
Don’t you think?
What in the world could be good about grief?
About missing that person you know you’ll never again see?
Playing everything back in your mind repeatedly?
Wishing you could undo it all,
Just to get a second chance,
All the arguments now seem so small,
Wish we hadn’t wasted the time on that…
 
Grief is no good…
It first consumed me with denial,
There was no way you could be gone,
Not before we fixed all of our problems…
Not before I let you in on how much I loved you,
I wish I’d have said it more often prior.
Prior to growing so very angry,
To when I started to hate life,
To where I couldn’t find peace,
Not even in my own mind…
 
Good Grief,
I’ve lost so many “friends”,
They seem to have loved me before we met,
They don’t know what to say to me now that I’ve changed,
And so my isolation began…
Where depression and anxiety were the only friends,
After all they know me best,
They’re always there,
On the job…
Not one days rest.
 
Maybe if I pray?
Grief will be good to me…
What do I have to give up?
I can’t accept this permanency...  
Good Grief,
How can I stop dreaming of impossible things?
Like necromancy…
Or constructing a time machine?
 
Good Grief,
It’s like you’ve fractured a part of my mind,
Cracked it open…
And made me REALLY have a look around…
Forced me to sit down and accept,
That I can’t live life and never witness death,
I can’t expect not to be effected by it,
But good Grief, ever since we met, I’ve been so unkept!
 
Good Grief,
I hope and pray you one day fade,
Give me a little break…
Stop invading my thoughts
Stop ruining my day!
Please stop creeping up on me,
Quit your gnawing,
Mute my agony,
Good Grief,
I hope you’re not here to stay,
I hope that you come with closure…
No one should have to live this way.