(...)

 
(…)

There is a shadow on my face that I’ve never seen.
And I cannot lie and say that my own skin is clean.
You know that I’ve been counting grains of sand—
Trying not to let one slip from my hand.

Every angel has a name—I couldn’t ask for more
Except for one to come knocking at my door.
So many days are passing since I felt crucified,
But I don’t believe it’s only me who has died.

Bury me alive, but leave my heart for another tomb,
Somewhere with the same silence I hear in this room.
I’m lying between your teeth, at your mercy
And for my sins I pray that I am worthy.

I can’t tell you how it hurts…I can’t tell you when
To stop cutting me and then beg you to cut me again.
I can’t tell you how it stings…I can’t say my heart
Won’t break again if you don’t break it apart.

I couldn’t love you less if you cut me afresh,
I can’t hate you if you crawl into my flesh
You know I won’t stop until the pain takes control
And you dig your fingers into my soul.

I can’t tell you how it hurts…I can’t tell you when
To stop cutting, I want you to cut me again
I want to forgive you so bad I cannot breathe,
And beg you forever never to leave.
I can’t tell you how it hurts…I can’t tell you when
To stop cutting…so I’ll cut for you, then
I want to cry and tell you that you are the only one—
I want to take the sky and give you the sun
I can’t tell you how it hurts…

© 2021 Marten Hoyle