deepundergroundpoetry.com

I do not feel sadness; I just do not feel.

I do not feel sadness, I do not feel despair.
 
I just do not feel.

I do not feel angry, or anxious. I just do not feel.

I do not feel like getting out of bed in the morning, I do not feel like eating. I do not feel like brushing my teeth. I do not feel like going to work; I do not feel like interacting with people.

I do not feel tired; I do not feel like sleeping. I do not feel like I am a human being that is capable of feeling emotion.

I simply just do not feel.

Anything.

Then, at random, I just feel.

Everything.

A wave of sadness, a wave of despair.

No, not a wave. A tsunami. An overwhelming, colossal wave of painful emotions drowning me before I have the chance to realise what is going on.

It engulfs me. It throws me under its current; it holds me there. I canít breathe, it hurts too much. I canít swim up for air, the current is too strong. I am too tired. I am too weak. I just drown; slowly, painfully, helplessly.

After a slow, painful death, I feel nothing again.

I am flung between nothing and everything; that is my existence.

That is how depression feels. It feels like nothing, and, everything.
Written by JustinedeLange (Justine)
Published
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