Diet pill mondays

All you see is the soft body that is holding my soul, but you do not truly see me for me.
You do not see the bony fingers shoved down red raw vomit coated throats,
Or diet pill infused red bulls for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
You do not see me; You just see the body that I inhabit.

You do not see how hard I have tried to become nonexistent, to become so hollow and empty so that I am finally beautiful like you, like everyone else.
You do not see how I often I compare my body to my little sisters, or how I skip meals until I get dizzy.
You know nothing about me anymore.

All you see is the soft frame around my bones, not the vessel that is holding the inside of my soul.
You do not see the stevia sugar replacement in fear of adding too many carbs to my diet, You do not see the meticulous calorie counting that goes on before dinner.
All you see is a fat body holding me up by my bones; and god damn you.
You know nothing about me.
Not anymore.